Junior Doctor E

E found her little toy doctor's kit after an almost year-long absence.  She's been tending to us faithfully ever since. 

First she puts on the nametag, which says, "Junior Doctor" above her dutifully lettered-in name.  

With stethoscope in hand (and ears), "Is okay mama.  Shhh shhh shh." 


I'm laying on my back on the living room floor, pretending to moan in pain.

She pushes the listening end to my chest. 

"Doctor, is everything okay?  What do you hear?" I ask.

She takes the stethoscope off my chest; without missing a beat, she answers, "with my EARS, mama." 

How Insanely Skinny Was I?!?!?!

Or, as our allies in Britan would say, "Fit."



Dear Lord.  I will get this back.   Or at least toned-arm goodness of a comparable worthiness.


August 5th, 2006 isn't all that far gone.  Somewhere inside me, there's a 135lbs girl. 

The Aforementioned Project

The Journey Home | Make Your Own Book

See 50-some of it's 98 pages here, if you like. 

Jeesh

Wow.  A big project is on the verge of being 100% complete and forever off of my conscious and to-do list.

The memorial book that we had talked, rather flippantly, amongst family about making suddenly became a huge reality, with a very huge deadline.  I'm glad to say it is in that strange state between done-ness and actual tangibility.  I look forward to, probably after tonight, not having to pore over photographs of my husband's family again for a loooong time.  (Although they are definitely a good looking lot... lots of Middle Eastern features popping up here and there that make me wonder if they didn't have a relative on the boat with the Christians coming in from Syria in 400AD.  Plus so many six-foot-plus guys?  In SOUTHERN INDIA?!? But that's a whole different History Channel conspiratorial miniseries to pitch later...)

We've told my mother-in-law (Mummy) how I don't even know what all I'll do with my time now that this is finished.  But I do.  Here's the agenda for the rest of February.

1.  Begin losing 20 pounds.   (a buddy and I have joined the YMCA's Move2Lose program.  Dragging two kids each to the YMCA by 9:30am twice a week will be a workout in itself.  An exercise in patience you might say.  HA!  And each of us have a stranger-hater.  So let's just consider it a bonus that our workouts will be interrupted every 30 minutes as the kid-minding daycare workers come to fetch us to calm down our respective screaming girl kids.  (Note:  "my" beast is not actually mine, but is the daaahling E-mac.)

2.  Begin cleaning up the craft room.  I have a lovely sewing machine that is still in the box.  As I did a little photo shoot for the cover of this grandmother memory book (artsy shots of a rosary on a sari - of course, what else for your dearly departed Kerala Catholic grandma?) it came to my attention that these lovely cotton saris would make great, beautiful, and slightly exotic swaddling cloths.  And hip mommas are into that sort of thing.  So I shall mount that sewing machine's learning curve and make it my bitch, and hopefully our progeny will be delightfully stitched projects, beginning simply with those swaddling cloths.

3.  Organize the closets.  I keep looking around at our extra space and wondering, "what if we suddenly DID have family or friends move in with us?" (My parents have suddenly bought a place in Florida, and we have no idea what their plans are going forward.  Are they forsaking Ohio completely?  Planning to chuck in with us a month or two a year?  No idea, and I'm thinking they don't know actually either.  Secretly we're wondering if they wouldn't want to have their grandfather clock come and live with us!)  The acres of random, unfilled space in our home need to be made useful and geared for actual utilization, rather than just space to stack things.  Lord, I may even paint the guest room like I had imagined months back. Stop the presses. 

Right now, my plan is to simply vacuum.  Hope the kid is willing to help.  We'll make a game of it.  Game is called, "Help me vacuum or BEATINGS!"

(please note:  I don't actually beat my kid.) 

Cheers!

The Woman of Action Can't Beat Down the Woman of Stuff

I want a steam mop.  So very badly.  Oh, steam mop.  I want you.  Like the deserts miss the rain.  Or something like that. 
And I certainly wouldn't mind a nice tea kettle too. 
But other than that, seriously, I'm all good. 

A Woman of Action vs. A Woman of Stuff

It's been a big year for our little family.

We bought a house.  We bought stuff to fill the house.  We bought convenient, easy stuff to fill our bellies while we were busy moving the things we had bought for the house around the house. *head spins, stomach churns*

Long story short, this has left us fat, and with lots of bills.

We had guests in town for Thanksgiving, and in honor of their pending arrival we decided to take the plunge and finally buy one more mattress set, which would bring us up to such a total that we would have a bed in each bedroom, plus a futon downstairs, making lots of comfy space for our guests, current and future, to sleep.  (or sex it up.  but that's just a joke.  do not, under any circumstances, come to our house just to sex it up. please)  This is a very satisfying new development, and a pleasant coming-of-age for two formerly empty and nearly-empty bedrooms upstairs. 

Now, for the first time in my short-tenure as a homeowner, I can look around and be confident in the knowledge that we DO NOT NEED ANYTHING.  Sure, there may be a few wants here and there... but nothing is needed in the way that I needed that Expedit from Ikea to make the living room complete, or how we needed Shelly's loveseat to keep the recliners company in the study.  Those needs are even silly, as I often like to reflect upon Maslow's Heirarchy of Needs to remind myself that I'm really pretty lucky to be so content and sated that I find myself on the top of the pyramid, judging ('cuz it says morality, right?) the folks struggling down below.  There are televisions, networks, places to sit, tools with which to cook (and the food to be cooked as well)... all in all, relative comforts, and mostly well-utilized ones, abound.

So now that we're fully furnished with stuff, I have great great intentions of becoming a
WOMAN OF ACTION! 

What, you ask, is a woman of action?  Well. (as I pour myself a glass of wine, in order to tonight be a woman of slightly-less coordinated actions) 

I wanna DO stuff.  Remember that post where I was talking about how much sh*t I got done while the internet was inaccessible? 

Oh, Dr. Seuss... you had it SO right, man!  THE THINGS YOU CAN DO!  Here I am waiting for bread I baked (action!!) to cool, while typing my blog  (action!).  One of the lesser things in life indeed, but it's better than trolling Facebook, right?  Plus it's like I'm making my whole mental plan tangible... putting it out there for folks to, hopefully, hold me somewhat accountable to my intentions.  (ACTION!!!)

 Here's my list. 

1.  Lose weight.  Every little bit counts but 10-15 pounds would be ideal, and 25 lbs would be bitchin'
2.  Continue organizing the house - especially the craft room
3.  START SEWING!  (dependent on #2)
4. Potty train E-Unit
5.  De-pacify the E-Unit... (another blog, another time)
6.  Paint guest/office room and decorate in "City" theme as planned
7.  Monetize blog in slightly-less hardcore manner as the fabulous FlutieMcD (of course, only after committing to posting at least 3x a week and having super-awesome content) and revel in the idea of being able to fancy myself a "writer" - if even *just* (hahaha) a "Mommy Blogger"
8.  Get myself, the handsome husband, and my no-longer-flying-free 2+ year old out of the country for a vacation fit to remember forevah.  Germany/France?  Perhaps.  Club Med in el Caribe?  Maybe.  Just plain Florida with family?  Even that'd do.  Most ideal?  Western Ireland by car for 4 days, on the way to India.  (And then a train trip to visit friends and the ruins at Hampi while in India.  Oh Lordy, I can dream.)
9.  Um... have more babies?  Yeah, somewhere in there, that'd be pretty cool.  So yeah, have more babies.
10.  Raise aforementioned babies to be awesome little buggers like E-Unit

That's the problem with becoming a Woman of Action -  seem's that there's inherently some tangible, shoppable portion of the dream.  Me wanting to stop focusing on the material and get the proverbial shit done somehow translates to me wanting to TRAVEL.  Me wanting more children means there's definitely a deadline to those much-imagined travels.   I imagine my fitter, more-organized self unloading jauntily off of a plane with the hubba and toddler in tow, toward adventures and relaxation in new surrounds.  Super-skinny self?  Oh, that foxy BITCH!  She would be unloading in Lima, Peru, holding the hubba's hand and breathlessly carrying the child in a backpack up the Inca trail, into the clouds of Macchu Pichu...

Shit.  There is one more thing I need.   

E-Mac

Ahhh, my fellow Spampylandians, my apologies on there being no action here in Spampylandia.

While I've been virtually dormant, life has been literally bonkers for about the last three weeks.  The E-Unit and I are the proud new weekday watchers of a jolly little gibblet named E-Mac (or at least we'll call her that, in order to differentiate her from our own E-Unit.)  This new "acquisition" came about when E-Mac's mommy decided to go back to school.  E-Mac didn't like this much and decided that daycare was for the birds, and spent most of two days trying to get this message across to the daycare provider.  Unfortunately, this particular daycare provider did not speak E-Mac and instead, BOOTED HER OUT OF THE DAYCARE! (this is a rather sore subject, as often touched upon by my friend Aunt TT in her frank and heartwarming blog The Vampire, the Drama Queen, & Aunt TT)

As ri-damn-diculous as that whole "hey let's take a baby and reject her for doing what babies do" concept sounds, it provided us the opportunity to be backup daycare providers until that faroff day when E-Mac makes it to the top of a long waiting list for another daycare.  'Til then, we are quite tickled to have an extra little friend around, and I've been quite busy learning the ins and outs of this Unit's operating system.

Like...
How to make bottles (woah.... check it: I never used formula!  had no clue how to use it.  luckily instructions on the can are written in simple, zombie-suited language) and then best way to give kid said bottle.

And...
Getting new-to-me baby to nap in new-to-her house and crib, without sending new-to-her me into the loony bin with her apparently new-to-everyone screaming fits  (this has tremendously improved, btw!)

Really she's a darling little peach who, when happy, is the most content child I've seen since the first E-Unit rolled off the line in Aught Eight.  The adjustments have been more for myself in preparation for E-Mac's daily arrivals, and include going to bed at 9:30pm and waking up at just a smidge before 6am...  

You can imagine how that went the first couple of days...

But it's much better now...

But that's why I haven't written.

And now, a word from our sponsor

Today's sponsor is Captain Obvious.

Ten days ago, the darling little silver laptop on which I type died a tragic and sudden death.  There was, as there often is, the Blue Screen of Death as well as some low-tech Beeps of Terror, which were all set to a pulsing backbeat of my husband's Swearing of Profanities.

We chalked it up to fate.  The poor thing was almost six years old, and while it was beyond top-of-the-line at it's inception, times had changed and subtle new technologies had left us in the dust.  It didn't help that we were also running a illegitimate version of Windows, which never allowed us any updates or additional virus protection; so really it's a wonder the poor thing had made it that long.

Suddenly, at about 8pm that fateful Saturday evening, I learned of laptop's death, and found out I would be rendered completely internet-less for all but an hour or so a day. 

Internet-less.  (noun)  \ˈin-tər-ˌnet-ˈles\   1.  being without internet   2.  being utterly devoid of access to email, social networking, and online shopping, with the inability to randomly find out the answer to any question instantly on Google, such as "what substitutes eggs in cookie recipe" and "red spot on breast."

Oh Lordy.  Whattodo?!?

Well here's where our handy, dandy sponsor, CAPTAIN OBVIOUS, comes in to deliver his message.

The Internet is certainly handy, but is 90% time-killing garbage.

I suddenly had SOOO MUUUUCCHHH TIIIIIIME.   So. Much.  Sickening amounts of time.  Time to play with my daughter.  Time to cook meals ahead of time.  Time to sit on the couch and watch a show about Tibet while drinking a coffee.  Time to unpack long forgotten boxes from our June move.  Time to consider painting rooms, and, once the colors are decided, time to actually paint them.  Time to spontaneously decide to rake the lawn, or chase the kid around the lawn, or chase the kid around the lawn with a rake.  Egads! 

Two evenings into my internet-less existence, I logged onto Facebook and felt like I was walking through a once-familiar neighborhood, where everyone I once knew had moved away.  No witty status came to mind.  No biting retorts, no virtual thumbs-ups.   I did not, in fact, care that Dawn wished us all a happy Tuesday, or that Ann's FedEx package had failed to show up.  I did not even click to "see more."

Sure, there were a couple of times during the day that I wished I could instantly ameliorate some morbid curiosity via Google, or when I became curious as to whether the car payment had gone through.  But you know what I did?

I WROTE MYSELF A NOTE.  And I looked it up later that evening when the hubba relinquished control of his work computer.  Or just forgot entirely, because it was, really, exactly. that. important.

Spaceholder

Haven't posted anything in awhile.   So will show video of kid on balance bike.   Insert "yaaaaaay" noise here.

Spampylandia Goes Political

I have another blog titled "An Ipod for the Queen" where I once imagined I would safely confine my political rantings.  Unfortunately, AIFTQ lies long neglected, and poor Facebook feels the brunt of my tri-polar South Park Republican, neo-conservative, and libertarian-except-for-the-whole-legalize-pot-thing moodswings.

I have a dear friend who in the kitchen is a pioneer and a scientist and an innovator.  On the computer and behind a camera, she's an artist and a wizard.  With her child, she's a beacon of humor and patience.  She's got the voice of a goddess and isn't afraid to shake her booty.  And as a friend, she's just damn good fun.  But somewhere early in our association I began to get the feeling that...

dum dum DAAAAAAH...

this friend is a liberal.

(Woah there.  Let me clearly state that noting all her talents and then calling her a lib was not in fact some sort of literary device for subtly implying that liberals are characteristically talentless boobs.  I will leave that sort of smug, implied slander to true assholes like Keith Olberman.  Who I would now call a boob, except to do so would insult the boobs of myself and every other woman.  Boobs are useful, beautiful things.  Olberman's just an elitist ass.) 

So your friend's a liberal?  Big damn deal, you say.  True.  Exactly that.  One thing I love about her - sure, we have a variety of political beliefs that don't necessarily line up, but either a.) we can talk about them without hating each other, or b.) we respectfully don't talk about them at all.  And perhaps that is the difference between "being a liberal" and having liberal beliefs or political leanings.  "Being a liberal" is not her defining quality; the end-all-be-all of her being.  She's very willing to consider the other side.  We have other friends (and family) who are unwilling to even just appear to consider an "opposing" point of view for the sake of ending an argument.  They ARE liberals (and conservatives), and very proud of it, but from an outsider's point of view it seems to take away from their quality of life. 

My mother always asked us as children to "humor" her.  As in, "Mawwwwwwm, I don't want to BE here!"  "Well, humor me."  Pretend.  Put your best face forward.  It may be a combination of patience and dishonesty that borders on the unhealthy, but it certainly keeps the peace.  And whatever unhealthiness aside, it builds a certain consideration for the feelings of others in s/he who is doing the humoring.  Which I believe is called empathy.

Things get heated in the political arena, but despite everything I really try to keep things civil, and at the very least humor those who will accord me the same level of respect.  It may be a better use of time to bounce ping pong balls off a wall than to try and relay facts to someone who does not want to hear them.  But it's really super fun to actually get out the paddles and have a proper game. 

This friend is a great friend, and I hope in her good humoring-humor she'll not mind too terribly that I've not only psychoanalyzed our relationship on a seriously strange political level, but also that I'm reposting what I'd written for her on Facebook in response to an article from the UK's Guardian that she shared regarding the so-called "Ground Zero mosque".

*colored additions denote things not originally posted on FB
*******************************************
I know you've missed me chiming in on things! :-) So here's an alternative viewpoint: http://www.jpost.com/Opinion/Op-EdContributors/Article.aspx?id=186290

Since when have we been such champions of religious tolerance and freedom in the US? Everyone's got to tread so lightly because someone might be OFFENDED. Yes, it absolutely is a constitutional right to put it where you please provided all the $ and permits come through. But people are offended. Ooooooh. But unfortunately, that's the precedent that has been set over the past few years. No nativity scene? No holidays? It's not all been just matters of separation of church and state.  Upwards of 75% of the people in the US are against the building of this center so close to where the World Trade Center once stood.  Simply put:  please,  No mosque.

As far as being the big olive branch... wouldn't a simple focus group show that this is NOT the best step toward bridging differences between good ol' ignorant Americans and progressive Muslims? If they're really trying to creative positive dialogue, why won't the planners consider any of the alternative options presented by NYC or the state of New York?   NY Governor Patterson has offered to meet with the planners and help find them an alternative site for the center, but his offer was met with flat refusal  - refusal to even meet.    Where's the dialogue there?

As for Ground Zero - the landing gear of one of the planes crashed through the Burlington Coat Factory building, which is part of the reason it's stood vacant for so long. Yeah, it's not the WTC site. But neither is it a residential area that would be best served by a community center with all the trappings of a YMCA.  I can't find any website to substantiate this, and the one I'll link to now doesn't help me because I'm unfamiliar with the geography of NYC and Manhattan, but apparently there is already an existing mosque about 6 blocks from the WTC site.  The argument that there is little worship space for Muslims living in NYC is silly, considering in the state of Connecticut has fewer mosques (23) than a search of "within 5 miles of Manhattan, NY" (34).
 
As for the media - aren't they worried about a backlash? The media danced around the Ft. Hood shooting issue claiming they didn't want to create a backlash against regular ol' Muslims. Yet this has been turned into such a "us vs. them" situation that truly moderate middle-American Muslims are being backed into corners and questioned by friends over something they would probably rather have nothing to do with. It's so hypocritical and dangerous on their part.   Mosques in CT and NC are being protested as well.  Now, provided there is due diligence in researching their funding, no permit issues, and the call to prayer won't drive away any endangered species, should they really be having such a problem?  No. 

This woman is amazing, and has been around the news for a bit trying to get her point across.  http://www.ottawacitizen.com/news/Mischief+Manhattan/3370303/story.html *funny - same pic from your article, right? must have been a slow "stock footage" day :-)

These are just the philosophical issues... there are more serious issues with the funding and all too.  Here, and here, and yeah... here too.  Oh and this also.  Especially that.

So, a la middle school: In conclusion, I absolutely believe the Cordoba Project planners have every right to build a community center with a mosque in it, or just a mosque, or a freakin' all-beef hotdog stand flying the flag of Hamas near, on, or a few blocks away from Ground Zero... but is the idea in good taste? Is it in the best interest of the people the center will serve? Are the planners according to the non-Muslim citizens of New York the consideration and respect that they demand for themselves?

Nope.