Alright, I take it back: f*ck you, TLC.
Now I'm watching one certain A Baby Story where a well-meaning first time mother wants a natural birth after a loss at about three months.
She starts out laboring fine. She doesn't progress terribly well - from 6 cm to 6.5cm over a decent spell of time. Midwife breaks her water - finds it has meconium in it, so warns the nice momma about how the baby needs to be checked right away after it comes out to make sure it hasn't breathed it's own poo into it's lungs. She checks her progress 4 more times in the span of a 30 minute show, with the momma wincing horribly each time. Midwife notes that momma is tired and should probably have an epidural at this point, to which the momma agrees, and then the midwife is featured going off to the nurse saying, "She got it. She's feeling much more comfortable... as always." (Hey moms-to-be! Your efforts towards an unmedicated birth are noble, but stupid! Look how comfortable this woman is now that she's had the needle stuck in her spine!) Midwife checks the momma's progress again as she remains stuck in the bed, unable to move because of all the monitors, and says that the baby is "molding" - meaning it's trying to come down with each contraction, but it's starting to smush the cervix in a way that suggests it's head is just too big to get out. (Wow, I molded too... my cervix had a little lip that was in the baby's way. Did they send me for a caesarian? No, they had me stand up and rock back and forth so the baby's head rubbed that obstruction down to nothing.) The midwife tells her it's time to really consider having the baby surgically removed, and the mother breaks down. She doesn't want to be cut, she doesn't want a scar, she doesn't want more anesthesia, she doesn't want both herself and her baby to have to recover during the first few days of their relationship.
Bring in the doctor. Doctor comes in and checks her progress - AGAIN, agk! - and says that the baby is actually further down than that (c-u-next-tuesday of a) midwife had described, and "why don't you try a few trial pushes?" She does once, or twice... then the doctor says since momma is so tired, why don't they use forceps to pull the baby out? Momma barely whispers, desperate, "please... please don't do that unless it's absolutely necessary," and the doctor says, "we'll see." Baby begins to crown and you see some blood down at momma's business end. Momma looks down through a push and says, in a panicked whisper, "are you going to cut me?!?" Doctor looks up. She continues, "please, just let me tear. Don't. Cut. Me." Again, the doctor replies, vaguely, almost smugly, "...we'll see."
She pushes one last time and the baby is born - a beautiful pink little girl, 7 lbs 2 oz. Her head is a little long and Mayan-looking from being in the birth canal so long, but otherwise she is a beautiful perfect little thing, with fluffy, gorgeous brown hair.
I don't know if this was supposed to be a sort of "buyer beware" episode, or just one of those "look at alllll the things that can go wrong", but they've taken that nice vibe I wrote about yesterday and just murdered it.
Every intervention puts you further downhill from your goal of a natural birth.
Now I'm watching one certain A Baby Story where a well-meaning first time mother wants a natural birth after a loss at about three months.
She starts out laboring fine. She doesn't progress terribly well - from 6 cm to 6.5cm over a decent spell of time. Midwife breaks her water - finds it has meconium in it, so warns the nice momma about how the baby needs to be checked right away after it comes out to make sure it hasn't breathed it's own poo into it's lungs. She checks her progress 4 more times in the span of a 30 minute show, with the momma wincing horribly each time. Midwife notes that momma is tired and should probably have an epidural at this point, to which the momma agrees, and then the midwife is featured going off to the nurse saying, "She got it. She's feeling much more comfortable... as always." (Hey moms-to-be! Your efforts towards an unmedicated birth are noble, but stupid! Look how comfortable this woman is now that she's had the needle stuck in her spine!) Midwife checks the momma's progress again as she remains stuck in the bed, unable to move because of all the monitors, and says that the baby is "molding" - meaning it's trying to come down with each contraction, but it's starting to smush the cervix in a way that suggests it's head is just too big to get out. (Wow, I molded too... my cervix had a little lip that was in the baby's way. Did they send me for a caesarian? No, they had me stand up and rock back and forth so the baby's head rubbed that obstruction down to nothing.) The midwife tells her it's time to really consider having the baby surgically removed, and the mother breaks down. She doesn't want to be cut, she doesn't want a scar, she doesn't want more anesthesia, she doesn't want both herself and her baby to have to recover during the first few days of their relationship.
Bring in the doctor. Doctor comes in and checks her progress - AGAIN, agk! - and says that the baby is actually further down than that (c-u-next-tuesday of a) midwife had described, and "why don't you try a few trial pushes?" She does once, or twice... then the doctor says since momma is so tired, why don't they use forceps to pull the baby out? Momma barely whispers, desperate, "please... please don't do that unless it's absolutely necessary," and the doctor says, "we'll see." Baby begins to crown and you see some blood down at momma's business end. Momma looks down through a push and says, in a panicked whisper, "are you going to cut me?!?" Doctor looks up. She continues, "please, just let me tear. Don't. Cut. Me." Again, the doctor replies, vaguely, almost smugly, "...we'll see."
She pushes one last time and the baby is born - a beautiful pink little girl, 7 lbs 2 oz. Her head is a little long and Mayan-looking from being in the birth canal so long, but otherwise she is a beautiful perfect little thing, with fluffy, gorgeous brown hair.
I don't know if this was supposed to be a sort of "buyer beware" episode, or just one of those "look at alllll the things that can go wrong", but they've taken that nice vibe I wrote about yesterday and just murdered it.
Every intervention puts you further downhill from your goal of a natural birth.
2 comments:
Geez. This really continues to drive home the point that it is NECESSARY to have a knowledgeable advocate with you at that time. Have you seen "The Business of Being Born?" I got it on netflix a few weeks back and was astounded!
I want you around when I give birth. Just saying.
Yes ma'am. Remember to read before you breed... anything by Ina May Gaskin especially :-)
Did you ever think you'd see Ricki Lake's nipples, much less in a documentary? That's a great one though. The ending is so bittersweet.
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