I'm gonna start chargin' all two or three of you money. You must have some excellent notification set up to let you know when I post, because it's certainly not at any regular interval. Maybe ever few days after NEVAAAAH?
God bless you, Liz and Kim, and perhaps Kristine?
Saturday, May 29, 2010
The beginning of a long musical career...
I caught E and Dada playing guitar together. It's especially impressive because of a.) the patience and enthusiasm of both student and teacher, and b.) Daddy's willingness to have his diaper-less daughter sit on his lap so close to a borrowed gee-tar.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Transcript from the monitor
On more neglectful mornings (like today) when I sit in bed, creeping around on Facebook and reading the news, I hear lots of interesting things over Elena's monitor. She certainly knows how to keep me (and herself) entertained.
No No No No
Do-a-doo (do a deer from The Sound of Music)
Bon-kaaaa? (calling for her grandma)
Daaaad... daaad! (daddy in a valley girl accent)
Humming "I'd like to stay and taste my first champagne" (more Sound of Music)
Monkey? Monkey? (which leads me to believe she's about to throw her monkey across the room)
Bebe? Bebebe? Bye-bye... (uh oh)
Yum yum (pretending to eat?)
Hey-yo? Hellooo? Hii, hiiiii...
Daa-daaaaa! Dada? Dadadadadada?
all manners of fake coughing and sneezing (attempts to get me to show up?)
On previous occasions, we've heard:
Baby DOWWWWN!
Cat, dog and cow noises
Pullli! (calling for her lizard)
Up, up up... (and then) Dowwwwn! Doooowwwwwn!
No No No No
Do-a-doo (do a deer from The Sound of Music)
Bon-kaaaa? (calling for her grandma)
Daaaad... daaad! (daddy in a valley girl accent)
Humming "I'd like to stay and taste my first champagne" (more Sound of Music)
Monkey? Monkey? (which leads me to believe she's about to throw her monkey across the room)
Bebe? Bebebe? Bye-bye... (uh oh)
Yum yum (pretending to eat?)
Hey-yo? Hellooo? Hii, hiiiii...
Daa-daaaaa! Dada? Dadadadadada?
all manners of fake coughing and sneezing (attempts to get me to show up?)
On previous occasions, we've heard:
Baby DOWWWWN!
Cat, dog and cow noises
Pullli! (calling for her lizard)
Up, up up... (and then) Dowwwwn! Doooowwwwwn!
Open Letter to My Friend, Fellow Bloggerette, and Fellow Mother-o'-Toddler Kim
I suck as a conspiracy partner.
Mainly because I can't even remember the proper terminology. A... responsibility partner? Reinforcement partner? Reliability? What is it I'm supposed to be, yet have neither fully understood nor taken any initiative to actually participate? But perhaps I can blame that on you, since you're the ying to my yang that's supposed to be either prodding me with a stick, or dangling that yummy carrot out in front :-)
Well, all that aside, here's what I've been thinking about lately.
A.) Your photos rock, and you and the fam are looking great. Between the cool photographer shots and the simple "who wears it better," I must say that we Georges really enjoy a chance to look at you guys from afar and see how you all are flourishing among the bluebelles of Texas.
B.) I want to be cool and join in on Twitter parties for book reading and all, but I lack a mobile device that's Twitter-capable and hate sitting in front of the laptop (or worse, sitting the laptop on my lady parts with just a pillow to disperse the radiation). Someday I will catch up with 2008 technology, I swear. C.) Gotta get Skype. That's just silly on my part to not have it yet. Maybe my parents actually taking an interest in Elena will help me keep motivated on that one. (Motivation partner?!? Is that it?)
D.) The DCI Championships are coming up soon here, and I will miss you. I told Saby that he has to come for at least one night's worth (I know he'll love it!). I'm not sure what I am going to do with Miss Elena without a stroller, but I suppose we can keep her from running onto the performance area somehow. (after a recent collision with the tv stand during Do-Re-Mi from The Sound of Music, I don't know what all this kid will do to get herself involved in interesting musical situations!) Perhaps if Miss Juniper were there to clap and hoot along with her, she'd behave better?
E.) I still have a present for you from India, and the only thing keeping me from getting it to you is my huge dislike of the post office. I apologize. Soon... perhaps today! (Motivation partner? IS THAT IT?!?)
F.) What does Juniper say? Does she use words? Does she mimic you? What are her tricks? Elena is very good with her P's and Q's, but takes the "please" to the extreme. God forbid she offers another child something and they don't take it... you look away for a minute and suddenly she's beating them over the head, yelling "bleese? BLEESE?" Not that I want her to beat Juniper over the head (although I have a feeling J'pop can fight back with the best of 'em) but I do want to hear what endearing-yet-horrifying sort of stories you might have, so that I don't feel alone in the mildly entertained/embarassed motherhood world.
G.) Would LOVE LOVE LUUUUUV to read this with you: http://hotair.com/archives/2010/04/13/book-review-a-time-to-betray/
H.) You're very cool, Kim. Very much a kindred spirit, and I don't want to lose touch with you because it seems so much potential for awesome friendship is there. While we only knew each other in person for like 5 months or something, just knowing you're out there in the world does provide motivation of some sort to write, to communicate, to hopefully visit someday, etc. I dropped the ball on BlogHer but maybe I can catch the ball on the rebound for next year... you'll have to tell me how it goes. I'll live vicariously through you until I get the enthu to get off my can :-)
Which leads me to say I must go and get outta bed and into the shower. Not sure if Elena went back to sleep, or if she's just playing in her crib, silently lighting matches and eating sharp rusty metal. But better make hay while the child sleeps or however that saying goes.
God speed and God bless you, my partner-in-crime!
Lina
Mainly because I can't even remember the proper terminology. A... responsibility partner? Reinforcement partner? Reliability? What is it I'm supposed to be, yet have neither fully understood nor taken any initiative to actually participate? But perhaps I can blame that on you, since you're the ying to my yang that's supposed to be either prodding me with a stick, or dangling that yummy carrot out in front :-)
Well, all that aside, here's what I've been thinking about lately.
A.) Your photos rock, and you and the fam are looking great. Between the cool photographer shots and the simple "who wears it better," I must say that we Georges really enjoy a chance to look at you guys from afar and see how you all are flourishing among the bluebelles of Texas.
B.) I want to be cool and join in on Twitter parties for book reading and all, but I lack a mobile device that's Twitter-capable and hate sitting in front of the laptop (or worse, sitting the laptop on my lady parts with just a pillow to disperse the radiation). Someday I will catch up with 2008 technology, I swear. C.) Gotta get Skype. That's just silly on my part to not have it yet. Maybe my parents actually taking an interest in Elena will help me keep motivated on that one. (Motivation partner?!? Is that it?)
D.) The DCI Championships are coming up soon here, and I will miss you. I told Saby that he has to come for at least one night's worth (I know he'll love it!). I'm not sure what I am going to do with Miss Elena without a stroller, but I suppose we can keep her from running onto the performance area somehow. (after a recent collision with the tv stand during Do-Re-Mi from The Sound of Music, I don't know what all this kid will do to get herself involved in interesting musical situations!) Perhaps if Miss Juniper were there to clap and hoot along with her, she'd behave better?
E.) I still have a present for you from India, and the only thing keeping me from getting it to you is my huge dislike of the post office. I apologize. Soon... perhaps today! (Motivation partner? IS THAT IT?!?)
F.) What does Juniper say? Does she use words? Does she mimic you? What are her tricks? Elena is very good with her P's and Q's, but takes the "please" to the extreme. God forbid she offers another child something and they don't take it... you look away for a minute and suddenly she's beating them over the head, yelling "bleese? BLEESE?" Not that I want her to beat Juniper over the head (although I have a feeling J'pop can fight back with the best of 'em) but I do want to hear what endearing-yet-horrifying sort of stories you might have, so that I don't feel alone in the mildly entertained/embarassed motherhood world.
G.) Would LOVE LOVE LUUUUUV to read this with you: http://hotair.com/archives/2010/04/13/book-review-a-time-to-betray/
H.) You're very cool, Kim. Very much a kindred spirit, and I don't want to lose touch with you because it seems so much potential for awesome friendship is there. While we only knew each other in person for like 5 months or something, just knowing you're out there in the world does provide motivation of some sort to write, to communicate, to hopefully visit someday, etc. I dropped the ball on BlogHer but maybe I can catch the ball on the rebound for next year... you'll have to tell me how it goes. I'll live vicariously through you until I get the enthu to get off my can :-)
Which leads me to say I must go and get outta bed and into the shower. Not sure if Elena went back to sleep, or if she's just playing in her crib, silently lighting matches and eating sharp rusty metal. But better make hay while the child sleeps or however that saying goes.
God speed and God bless you, my partner-in-crime!
Lina
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
:(
It feels hot behind my eyes. I am alternately cold and hot, and have a pretty sneaky headache. I think I have a UTI. (just because I won't share my below the belt symptoms with everyone doesn't mean they're not there.)
Woe is me... off to drink cranberry juice.
Woe is me... off to drink cranberry juice.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Unsolicited Advice - seriously
Almost twenty months of motherhood, about nine months of pretty happy pregnancy before that, and a keen, judgmental eye make me feel qualified to call myself a successful mother and give you the following unsolicited but well-though and well-intended advice.
Please note, much of the more philosophical advisings are based on things I've either read, seen in action myself, or heard through friends. Please don't think I have a horrible relationship with my own in-laws, spouse, friends, family or conscience and am using this to snarkily revenge past misdeeds. I just like to over-analyze, and judge. A lot of outlandish things have been said while I was within earshot, whether they were intended for me or not; we've also witnessed some ridiculous and beautiful things first hand. I think we've learned almost as much from the mistakes - our own, and of others - as from the positive examples. Just as long as we're learning, I suppose!
1. Don't buy pacifiers at garage sales. Har har har... just kidding... that was just a warm up.
Real number 1: READ. Read books about kids and babies, not just your general "What to Expect" sort of things, but specifics: No-Cry Sleep Solutions, ANYTHING by The Baby Whisperer, Happiest Toddler on the Block. Philosophies you think are total crap can be very insightful and interesting, even if just for a good laugh and conversations at your mom's group.
But in all seriousness, we owe our lives and our sanity to The Baby Whisperer, God rest her poor soul... and watch out, I just found The Baby Whisperer for Toddlers!
I say this because you can try doing things by trial and error, but deciding what sort of parenting stance you want to take ahead of time will save you lots of sleepless nights and potential arguments with your spouse, and anyone else involved in the raising of your child.
Which leads me to...
2. You and your spouse are the primary caregivers to your children. Not your parents, not nannies, not aunts and uncles, not your sister, brother, best friend, whatever. It is nice, customary, and extremely helpful to have assistance during the initial period after delivery, but keep in mind that whenever everyone leaves, YOU and YOU ALONE have to know how to feed, bathe, put to sleep, comfort, and generally keep this child breathing.
With this in mind, my advice: have your helpers help you with everything, once you're mobile, but the baby. Let them get in their obligatory grandmother/aunt/brother/whatever time, but when it comes to putting the child down to sleep and all, you do it. Don't get stuck in the rut where your mother-in-law does you the favor of putting the child to bed; once her bags are packed and she's gone, the child still wants that amazing, now totally routine bedtime that you are completely unaware of!
Truuuuuust me. Be your child's parent. It does not take a village. It takes you.
3. Sort of an addendum to that. Older folks will tell you all sorts of rubbish, with varying levels of cynicism, condescension, and tact. "Honey, we hold a baby like this."
"Why is he so LITTLE?"
"You can't give them a bath at night, they'll catch cold."
Carry on with what you firmly believe. It is your kid. It is their routine, which in turn leads to a great deal of their sense of stability and happiness, which in turns results in your sanity. Don't compromise to make anyone else happy where your kid is concerned.
4. Other than what you receive as gifts, buy baby towels at second hand shops and mom-to-mom sales. They're the easiest of all baby things to wash and bleach, and you can get a week's worth for what one new towel would cost you.
5. In fact, get ALL SORTS of stuff at second hand shops and mom-to-mom sales. Toys especially - they are gently used for the most part (of course it's your job to wipe them down!) and much, much cheaper than retail. Google recall notices on things you buy that could be dangerous - riding toys, things with strings or little pieces, etc.
6. I HIGHLY SUGGEST THIS STROLLER! Especially if you have a kid that will be anywhere between ages 0 and 7 months sometime during winter. Trust me on this - get this relatively cheap-o stroller. It is VERY functional (I walked a 5K with mine!), has great storage and cup holders (which are ESSENTIAL for mother sanity on those all important trips out to, say, Target... where you will wander the aisles with a sleeping child, sipping a snack bar cappuccino as if you haven't left the house in weeks... which will, in all honestly, very probably be the case. Having twins? Get this one: Double Snap N Go . Again, I say TRUST ME. Seriously. You will be happy you did.
7. That being said, once your kid starts to get a little big to be lugging complete with infant seat out of the automobile, spring for your SECOND stroller... something fun and fancy like this. http://www.amazon.com/Baby-Jogger-Single-Stroller-Black/dp/B002MZZJVQ/ref=sr_1_20?ie=UTF8&s=sporting-goods&qid=1270242715&sr=1-20 I say "SECOND" because often by this time, people have compiled a stroller collection out of desperation to meet every varying situational need. That's why you should get the SnugRide, dude!
8. Don't start solid foods until at least 6 months unless your pediatrician suggests it. They'll be eating solid foods the rest of their life. Enjoy breastfeeding or bottles for a little while longer.
9. Don't scorn using a pacifier. Babies need to suckle their first 3 months of life.
9.5 If you use a paci, get Avent pacifiers because (IMHO) they look the least dumb of all pacifiers! :-)
10. Buy your kid lots of white clothes to wear before they start eating solid foods. They look really cute in white, and the get white really messy after they start eating fruits and veggies. (Buy OxyClean once they start eating solids!)
11. Don't be afraid to take your kid on walks, out in nature, at any age, and in any season - dressed appropriately of course.
12. Get your kid into Mommy & Me swimming lessons sometime before they turn 1. They will love the water... and you don't need to know how to swim to take the lessons.
13. Of all the useless baby equipment, I personally think SWING tops the list. If your kid learns to fall asleep using any "altered reality" - a swing, a vibrating seat, being rocked constantly - they will always need that to sleep. Don't set yourself up for failure.
14. Buy a sound machine. Nice ambient noise (waves, rain, thunderstorms, frogs, whatever) will drown out any junk happening during nap time and hopefully help keep you from having a light sleeper.
15. Keep it DARK in their bedroom.
16. If you're considering co-sleeping... please, please, PLEASE reconsider. Sure, it's easier at the time... but what a nightmare at 1, 2, or 3 years when you finally want to sleep alone. I've honestly never heard any good coming from cosleeping, beyond the consolation prizes of pleasant snuggling and easy nursing, which are just as easy to achieve with the kid being in your room in a co-sleeper or crib. You kid will sleep deeper, you will sleep easier, and you and your partner might just be able to have sex again sometime before their 4th birthday.
17. If you have some sort of philosophy that says you'll only buy your child non-battery operated wooden toys that aren't made in China, be prepared to give a little. :-) (this was so me)
18. Bumpo seats: I have a vague notion that these might make kids slower to reach the milestone of sitting up on their own. They are great, sure... they let kids from about 3 months onward be able to sit up whether they're able to on their own or not, but I think the support system doesn't let their muscles develop like they should. That being said, lots of parents still love them. I had one gifted to me after Elena could already sit up unassisted, and it was still pretty handy.
19. Make a registry. For the love of God, make a registry.
20. Play music for your kid! Duh. Any any kind - Elena likes Dream Theater and Muse just as much as Bach and Mozart.
21. If you have any intention of pumping breastmilk for any amount of time, or having other children in the future, go ahead and spend some money to get yourself a good pump. Just beware all the extras that they try to get you to buy. Two bottles, some plastic bags for freezing milk, and maybe one set of 5 of the sanitizing steam bags will do ya just fine. Squeeze Lanolin onto the breast shields and you'll get better suction and thus a better yield.
22. Aveeno products kick ass. I especially like the Lavender Baby Wash/Shampoo, but it made Elena break out to use it on her body, so we just wash her hair with it. And the bottle lasted almost 13 months, with a bath almost every single day!
23. Don't skimp on the Infant Seat... the SnugRide fits for longer - until 30 or 32 lbs, I believe, depending on their height. It costs a little more than other seats, but also has a better safety rating. There are much better seats that cost more (Chicco, Britax) but if you're on a budget these are darn good. Plus it fits in the snazzy SnugRide stroller frame.
24. BABY EINSTEIN. I have a beef with Baby Einstein. Their books are horrible. The rhyme schemes are stupid and illogical, and the pictures are colorful but cartoonish. Babies under a year old are supposed to look at pictures of real things - specifically photographic images of real things. The Baby Einstein videos are like baby crack. From the few I've seen, specifically geared for babies, they just show babies playing with cool toys. Why not let you baby play with cool toys instead, rather than lure them into a hypnotic trance watching other kids? Although if you've got a jumpy kid, maybe that trance would be welcomed. Your choice :-)
But - some Baby Einstein toys are pretty cool. It's nice that their toys play lots of classical music.
An aside: in 2009 Baby Einstein offered a refund on all their DVDs, saying you could receive a check for $15.99 if you returned any dvd purchased between 2004 and then (or something like that, timewise). This was because they were labeled as "educational" and then found to be absolutely education neutral.
25. That being said, I do LOVE the Baby Signing Time series. We did not let Elena watch TV - as in, sometimes we had it on while she was around, but we did not plop her down in front of SpongeBob at age 4 months or anything. Around 5 or 6 months, we started sitting with her to watch these dvds, about 30 minutes long each, and she was thrilled. Not sure if she was excited by the idea of having her OWN show to watch, or by seeing other babies and children, or the music, or a combination of those, but she LOVES it today and asks for it by signing "baby" while standing by the TV. She has learned about 25 signs from the show, and knows the songs. I really think these are fabulous videos! But...
26. The American Academy of Pediatrics advises parents not to allow any television viewing for children ages 2 and younger—regardless of content. To quote their policy statement, "Although certain television programs may be promoted to this age group, research on early brain development shows that babies and toddlers have a critical need for direct interactions with parents and other significant caregivers for healthy brain growth and the development of appropriate social, emotional and cognitive skills."
It was put to me this way by my pediatrician: "you kid will get more out of watching you fold laundry than watching any sort of TV." Sigh. (plus, they'll want to help you fold the laundry - which is a total win-win situation!)
It absolutely breaks my heart when I read in the July 2008 babies forum that CrzyBtch4's kid can say "dada, mama, and bob-bob, that means spongebob, her favorite show, lol isnt that the cutest?" No, it's not cute. You're a retard.
27. Get a Johny Jump-up or doorway jumper! They're super for being able to take a shower without leaving your child terribly neglected... and it will strengthen their legs, neck and core, and help their balance too! I am seriously surprised that Elena never smushed her hand between the edge of the jumper seat and the door, but it just never happened. Coincidence? Clever design? I don't know if that was a selling point or not, as we received ours 2nd hand, sans-instructions. So my advice: don't fret about it and enjoy your shower.
28. Don't worry too much about buying littler babies (up to 5-6 months) jackets and coats. They shouldn't wear anything too puffy in the car seat, because it messes with the design and safety features of the restraints. I found this thing to be an absolute "Godsend" [said in operatic voice... and cue Hallelujah Chorus by Handel]. Keeps baby warm but not sweaty, and most of all, SAFE!
29. Supposedly BeechNut brand baby foods are really good - this is what the Sneaky Chef lady said in her books. All natural, very few additives, mostly organic? I dunno, they don't advertise any of this very well, so it was news to me. I never got them because they were cheapest, so I figured they were worst. Whoopsie?!?
30. Don't be embarrassed if you end up taking your kid to the hospital at 3am... for gas :-)
31. T.J. Maxx has incredibly cute and incredibly cheap baby clothes. And some random toys and stuff too. What a treat to go in there and hit the clearance rack. Two dollar onesies with witty sayings that you don't normally see on the same-ol', Carters-Meijer-Walmart-Macys-Old Navy circuit? Game on!
32. Once your kid starts eating solid food and has enough teeth, let them try, and subsequently EAT, everything. I remember watching in wide-eyed amazement as my friend's 9 month old ate food court fried rice and General Tso's chicken during a mall playdate. Holy moly! Now that same child, just short of two years, is eating sushi on picnics and olives with tuna (woah) at home. There's no barrier to what a kid can eat*, as long as they can chew it and it doesn't make them explode in allergies!!!
*beyond the age restrictions on eggs, peanuts, nuts, shellfish, etc... follow your Pedi's suggestions!
33. Did I say this already? Please please please... Have a ROUTINE... but not a schedule. Be a little flexible, and your kid will (hopefully) be a little flexible too. And that is a GODSEND.
34. Sorry charlie... shaving your baby's head at any point during their early years does NOT make their hair come in "nicer" or "thicker" or anything... it just comes in all at the same length, because - watch out, I'm gonna get scientific here: it's starting all at the same time. Woah, amazing right? I have an alternate theory that the regrowth after a shave might be coarser, but that's as equally based upon old wives tales as the "shaving makes it nicer" theory... with that particular old wife being my mother, who was constantly discouraging us from shaving our thighs (and thus arms) because the hair would grow back "darker and thicker, and you don't want that now do you?" :-)
35. Those nice, educational trips you take to the farm or petting zoo when your kid is 9 months old? Go back the following year and you'll be amazed at how willing they are to stand at a fence and watch a cow chew grass for hours in the hot, hot sun. (I learned this first hand on Friday! What a ton of fun, seeing baby sheep and a big cow, and a friendly barn cat... somebody was meowing and baaaaa-ing the whole way home)
36. Let me paraphrase these books for you: Trees Make the Best Mobiles and Last Child in the Woods
LIVE NEAR NATURE IF YOU CAN!!! Let you kid play outside. Turn off the TV. Work on under-stimulating in our over-stimulating world. The crack in your ceiling and the tree rustling outside are as fascinating to your newborn as the expensive mobile you registered for... plus they're free, not made in China (no offense to China), and will allow people to buy you a lot more diapers :-)
37. More to come, as I learn, judge, and read more!
Please note, much of the more philosophical advisings are based on things I've either read, seen in action myself, or heard through friends. Please don't think I have a horrible relationship with my own in-laws, spouse, friends, family or conscience and am using this to snarkily revenge past misdeeds. I just like to over-analyze, and judge. A lot of outlandish things have been said while I was within earshot, whether they were intended for me or not; we've also witnessed some ridiculous and beautiful things first hand. I think we've learned almost as much from the mistakes - our own, and of others - as from the positive examples. Just as long as we're learning, I suppose!
1. Don't buy pacifiers at garage sales. Har har har... just kidding... that was just a warm up.
Real number 1: READ. Read books about kids and babies, not just your general "What to Expect" sort of things, but specifics: No-Cry Sleep Solutions, ANYTHING by The Baby Whisperer, Happiest Toddler on the Block. Philosophies you think are total crap can be very insightful and interesting, even if just for a good laugh and conversations at your mom's group.
But in all seriousness, we owe our lives and our sanity to The Baby Whisperer, God rest her poor soul... and watch out, I just found The Baby Whisperer for Toddlers!
I say this because you can try doing things by trial and error, but deciding what sort of parenting stance you want to take ahead of time will save you lots of sleepless nights and potential arguments with your spouse, and anyone else involved in the raising of your child.
Which leads me to...
2. You and your spouse are the primary caregivers to your children. Not your parents, not nannies, not aunts and uncles, not your sister, brother, best friend, whatever. It is nice, customary, and extremely helpful to have assistance during the initial period after delivery, but keep in mind that whenever everyone leaves, YOU and YOU ALONE have to know how to feed, bathe, put to sleep, comfort, and generally keep this child breathing.
With this in mind, my advice: have your helpers help you with everything, once you're mobile, but the baby. Let them get in their obligatory grandmother/aunt/brother/whatever time, but when it comes to putting the child down to sleep and all, you do it. Don't get stuck in the rut where your mother-in-law does you the favor of putting the child to bed; once her bags are packed and she's gone, the child still wants that amazing, now totally routine bedtime that you are completely unaware of!
Truuuuuust me. Be your child's parent. It does not take a village. It takes you.
3. Sort of an addendum to that. Older folks will tell you all sorts of rubbish, with varying levels of cynicism, condescension, and tact. "Honey, we hold a baby like this."
"Why is he so LITTLE?"
"You can't give them a bath at night, they'll catch cold."
Carry on with what you firmly believe. It is your kid. It is their routine, which in turn leads to a great deal of their sense of stability and happiness, which in turns results in your sanity. Don't compromise to make anyone else happy where your kid is concerned.
4. Other than what you receive as gifts, buy baby towels at second hand shops and mom-to-mom sales. They're the easiest of all baby things to wash and bleach, and you can get a week's worth for what one new towel would cost you.
5. In fact, get ALL SORTS of stuff at second hand shops and mom-to-mom sales. Toys especially - they are gently used for the most part (of course it's your job to wipe them down!) and much, much cheaper than retail. Google recall notices on things you buy that could be dangerous - riding toys, things with strings or little pieces, etc.
6. I HIGHLY SUGGEST THIS STROLLER! Especially if you have a kid that will be anywhere between ages 0 and 7 months sometime during winter. Trust me on this - get this relatively cheap-o stroller. It is VERY functional (I walked a 5K with mine!), has great storage and cup holders (which are ESSENTIAL for mother sanity on those all important trips out to, say, Target... where you will wander the aisles with a sleeping child, sipping a snack bar cappuccino as if you haven't left the house in weeks... which will, in all honestly, very probably be the case. Having twins? Get this one: Double Snap N Go . Again, I say TRUST ME. Seriously. You will be happy you did.
7. That being said, once your kid starts to get a little big to be lugging complete with infant seat out of the automobile, spring for your SECOND stroller... something fun and fancy like this. http://www.amazon.com/Baby-Jogger-Single-Stroller-Black/dp/B002MZZJVQ/ref=sr_1_20?ie=UTF8&s=sporting-goods&qid=1270242715&sr=1-20 I say "SECOND" because often by this time, people have compiled a stroller collection out of desperation to meet every varying situational need. That's why you should get the SnugRide, dude!
8. Don't start solid foods until at least 6 months unless your pediatrician suggests it. They'll be eating solid foods the rest of their life. Enjoy breastfeeding or bottles for a little while longer.
9. Don't scorn using a pacifier. Babies need to suckle their first 3 months of life.
9.5 If you use a paci, get Avent pacifiers because (IMHO) they look the least dumb of all pacifiers! :-)
10. Buy your kid lots of white clothes to wear before they start eating solid foods. They look really cute in white, and the get white really messy after they start eating fruits and veggies. (Buy OxyClean once they start eating solids!)
11. Don't be afraid to take your kid on walks, out in nature, at any age, and in any season - dressed appropriately of course.
12. Get your kid into Mommy & Me swimming lessons sometime before they turn 1. They will love the water... and you don't need to know how to swim to take the lessons.
13. Of all the useless baby equipment, I personally think SWING tops the list. If your kid learns to fall asleep using any "altered reality" - a swing, a vibrating seat, being rocked constantly - they will always need that to sleep. Don't set yourself up for failure.
14. Buy a sound machine. Nice ambient noise (waves, rain, thunderstorms, frogs, whatever) will drown out any junk happening during nap time and hopefully help keep you from having a light sleeper.
15. Keep it DARK in their bedroom.
16. If you're considering co-sleeping... please, please, PLEASE reconsider. Sure, it's easier at the time... but what a nightmare at 1, 2, or 3 years when you finally want to sleep alone. I've honestly never heard any good coming from cosleeping, beyond the consolation prizes of pleasant snuggling and easy nursing, which are just as easy to achieve with the kid being in your room in a co-sleeper or crib. You kid will sleep deeper, you will sleep easier, and you and your partner might just be able to have sex again sometime before their 4th birthday.
17. If you have some sort of philosophy that says you'll only buy your child non-battery operated wooden toys that aren't made in China, be prepared to give a little. :-) (this was so me)
18. Bumpo seats: I have a vague notion that these might make kids slower to reach the milestone of sitting up on their own. They are great, sure... they let kids from about 3 months onward be able to sit up whether they're able to on their own or not, but I think the support system doesn't let their muscles develop like they should. That being said, lots of parents still love them. I had one gifted to me after Elena could already sit up unassisted, and it was still pretty handy.
19. Make a registry. For the love of God, make a registry.
20. Play music for your kid! Duh. Any any kind - Elena likes Dream Theater and Muse just as much as Bach and Mozart.
21. If you have any intention of pumping breastmilk for any amount of time, or having other children in the future, go ahead and spend some money to get yourself a good pump. Just beware all the extras that they try to get you to buy. Two bottles, some plastic bags for freezing milk, and maybe one set of 5 of the sanitizing steam bags will do ya just fine. Squeeze Lanolin onto the breast shields and you'll get better suction and thus a better yield.
22. Aveeno products kick ass. I especially like the Lavender Baby Wash/Shampoo, but it made Elena break out to use it on her body, so we just wash her hair with it. And the bottle lasted almost 13 months, with a bath almost every single day!
23. Don't skimp on the Infant Seat... the SnugRide fits for longer - until 30 or 32 lbs, I believe, depending on their height. It costs a little more than other seats, but also has a better safety rating. There are much better seats that cost more (Chicco, Britax) but if you're on a budget these are darn good. Plus it fits in the snazzy SnugRide stroller frame.
24. BABY EINSTEIN. I have a beef with Baby Einstein. Their books are horrible. The rhyme schemes are stupid and illogical, and the pictures are colorful but cartoonish. Babies under a year old are supposed to look at pictures of real things - specifically photographic images of real things. The Baby Einstein videos are like baby crack. From the few I've seen, specifically geared for babies, they just show babies playing with cool toys. Why not let you baby play with cool toys instead, rather than lure them into a hypnotic trance watching other kids? Although if you've got a jumpy kid, maybe that trance would be welcomed. Your choice :-)
But - some Baby Einstein toys are pretty cool. It's nice that their toys play lots of classical music.
An aside: in 2009 Baby Einstein offered a refund on all their DVDs, saying you could receive a check for $15.99 if you returned any dvd purchased between 2004 and then (or something like that, timewise). This was because they were labeled as "educational" and then found to be absolutely education neutral.
25. That being said, I do LOVE the Baby Signing Time series. We did not let Elena watch TV - as in, sometimes we had it on while she was around, but we did not plop her down in front of SpongeBob at age 4 months or anything. Around 5 or 6 months, we started sitting with her to watch these dvds, about 30 minutes long each, and she was thrilled. Not sure if she was excited by the idea of having her OWN show to watch, or by seeing other babies and children, or the music, or a combination of those, but she LOVES it today and asks for it by signing "baby" while standing by the TV. She has learned about 25 signs from the show, and knows the songs. I really think these are fabulous videos! But...
26. The American Academy of Pediatrics advises parents not to allow any television viewing for children ages 2 and younger—regardless of content. To quote their policy statement, "Although certain television programs may be promoted to this age group, research on early brain development shows that babies and toddlers have a critical need for direct interactions with parents and other significant caregivers for healthy brain growth and the development of appropriate social, emotional and cognitive skills."
It was put to me this way by my pediatrician: "you kid will get more out of watching you fold laundry than watching any sort of TV." Sigh. (plus, they'll want to help you fold the laundry - which is a total win-win situation!)
It absolutely breaks my heart when I read in the July 2008 babies forum that CrzyBtch4's kid can say "dada, mama, and bob-bob, that means spongebob, her favorite show, lol isnt that the cutest?" No, it's not cute. You're a retard.
27. Get a Johny Jump-up or doorway jumper! They're super for being able to take a shower without leaving your child terribly neglected... and it will strengthen their legs, neck and core, and help their balance too! I am seriously surprised that Elena never smushed her hand between the edge of the jumper seat and the door, but it just never happened. Coincidence? Clever design? I don't know if that was a selling point or not, as we received ours 2nd hand, sans-instructions. So my advice: don't fret about it and enjoy your shower.
28. Don't worry too much about buying littler babies (up to 5-6 months) jackets and coats. They shouldn't wear anything too puffy in the car seat, because it messes with the design and safety features of the restraints. I found this thing to be an absolute "Godsend" [said in operatic voice... and cue Hallelujah Chorus by Handel]. Keeps baby warm but not sweaty, and most of all, SAFE!
29. Supposedly BeechNut brand baby foods are really good - this is what the Sneaky Chef lady said in her books. All natural, very few additives, mostly organic? I dunno, they don't advertise any of this very well, so it was news to me. I never got them because they were cheapest, so I figured they were worst. Whoopsie?!?
30. Don't be embarrassed if you end up taking your kid to the hospital at 3am... for gas :-)
31. T.J. Maxx has incredibly cute and incredibly cheap baby clothes. And some random toys and stuff too. What a treat to go in there and hit the clearance rack. Two dollar onesies with witty sayings that you don't normally see on the same-ol', Carters-Meijer-Walmart-Macys-Old Navy circuit? Game on!
32. Once your kid starts eating solid food and has enough teeth, let them try, and subsequently EAT, everything. I remember watching in wide-eyed amazement as my friend's 9 month old ate food court fried rice and General Tso's chicken during a mall playdate. Holy moly! Now that same child, just short of two years, is eating sushi on picnics and olives with tuna (woah) at home. There's no barrier to what a kid can eat*, as long as they can chew it and it doesn't make them explode in allergies!!!
*beyond the age restrictions on eggs, peanuts, nuts, shellfish, etc... follow your Pedi's suggestions!
33. Did I say this already? Please please please... Have a ROUTINE... but not a schedule. Be a little flexible, and your kid will (hopefully) be a little flexible too. And that is a GODSEND.
34. Sorry charlie... shaving your baby's head at any point during their early years does NOT make their hair come in "nicer" or "thicker" or anything... it just comes in all at the same length, because - watch out, I'm gonna get scientific here: it's starting all at the same time. Woah, amazing right? I have an alternate theory that the regrowth after a shave might be coarser, but that's as equally based upon old wives tales as the "shaving makes it nicer" theory... with that particular old wife being my mother, who was constantly discouraging us from shaving our thighs (and thus arms) because the hair would grow back "darker and thicker, and you don't want that now do you?" :-)
35. Those nice, educational trips you take to the farm or petting zoo when your kid is 9 months old? Go back the following year and you'll be amazed at how willing they are to stand at a fence and watch a cow chew grass for hours in the hot, hot sun. (I learned this first hand on Friday! What a ton of fun, seeing baby sheep and a big cow, and a friendly barn cat... somebody was meowing and baaaaa-ing the whole way home)
36. Let me paraphrase these books for you: Trees Make the Best Mobiles and Last Child in the Woods
LIVE NEAR NATURE IF YOU CAN!!! Let you kid play outside. Turn off the TV. Work on under-stimulating in our over-stimulating world. The crack in your ceiling and the tree rustling outside are as fascinating to your newborn as the expensive mobile you registered for... plus they're free, not made in China (no offense to China), and will allow people to buy you a lot more diapers :-)
37. More to come, as I learn, judge, and read more!
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
എന്ട്ലെസ്സ് wonder
The internet is a source of endless wonder. A random search (of Calvin and Hobbes) just now led me to the new found knowledge that a widget is available to tell you the days, hours, minutes and seconds since the New York Mets last put someone on the disabled list. I assume this is some wicked inside joke among Mets fans? Or less likely, a team trainer or opposition-team Voodoo specialist? Who came up with such a marvelous, random thing, and who maintains it???
The only thing that is a source of more endless wonder is our little Elena, currently crawling all over the case of her daddy's dead-mint condition FGB Ibanez Prestige guitar. She wants desperately for me to pick her up so that she can see the shelf where her favorite toy, a Made in China remote controlled dog, resides. He lives on that high shelf because he's dangerous! A super mega strangulation hazard, with his garrote-like, 18-something inch cord connecting pup with his yellow, bone-shaped plastic remote control. Eighteen inches is not terribly remote, but it was enough to absolutely MYSTIFY Elena the first time she and that pup met. At first, she would hold the dog lovingly... snuggle him enthusiastically while saying (I assume) "dog" over and over - something like "dugk dugk dugk!" But when you pressed the buttons that made the dog walk or bark, she would be shocked and suddenly push it straight out of her hands - pow! - and then stand over it, watching it writhe on the floor. It was like the scene in Dances with Wolves where the Indians taste sugar for the first time, or use Lt. Dunbar's telescope. No fear, necessarily - just the sudden abrupt "WTF" sort of response to something you'd never expect.
Luckily (or unfortunately?) poor Dog was rendered a quadriplegic during the journey back from Grand Haven; being stuffed into a suitcase with a week's worth of sandy clothes and underutilized bathing suits caused some wire to come lose somewhere, and now he only barks. All of the fear has gone out of Elena and his relationship, and she now barks back "brp brp brrrp!" whenever she sees him, or remembers that he is up on that shelf.
The only thing that is a source of more endless wonder is our little Elena, currently crawling all over the case of her daddy's dead-mint condition FGB Ibanez Prestige guitar. She wants desperately for me to pick her up so that she can see the shelf where her favorite toy, a Made in China remote controlled dog, resides. He lives on that high shelf because he's dangerous! A super mega strangulation hazard, with his garrote-like, 18-something inch cord connecting pup with his yellow, bone-shaped plastic remote control. Eighteen inches is not terribly remote, but it was enough to absolutely MYSTIFY Elena the first time she and that pup met. At first, she would hold the dog lovingly... snuggle him enthusiastically while saying (I assume) "dog" over and over - something like "dugk dugk dugk!" But when you pressed the buttons that made the dog walk or bark, she would be shocked and suddenly push it straight out of her hands - pow! - and then stand over it, watching it writhe on the floor. It was like the scene in Dances with Wolves where the Indians taste sugar for the first time, or use Lt. Dunbar's telescope. No fear, necessarily - just the sudden abrupt "WTF" sort of response to something you'd never expect.
Luckily (or unfortunately?) poor Dog was rendered a quadriplegic during the journey back from Grand Haven; being stuffed into a suitcase with a week's worth of sandy clothes and underutilized bathing suits caused some wire to come lose somewhere, and now he only barks. All of the fear has gone out of Elena and his relationship, and she now barks back "brp brp brrrp!" whenever she sees him, or remembers that he is up on that shelf.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
What on EARTH am I doing?!?
Alright, I've figured out how to write my titles in English again, so that's a start.
But WHAT ON EARTH AM I DOING?!? Seriously? I bathed the baby, put her to sleep, chatted with our dearly departed-to-New-Jersey Jen, and have realized that for almost 13 months now I've been pissing away my time on Facebook and CafeMom rather than recording memories, accomplishments, and irregularities in what could and SHOULD be a fabulous, popular mommy blog.
I haven't even written down the unsolicited advice that runs through my head all day like the Fox News below-screen ticker. Ridiculous.
It must change... tomorrow, let's try a new leaf. And let's turn it!
But WHAT ON EARTH AM I DOING?!? Seriously? I bathed the baby, put her to sleep, chatted with our dearly departed-to-New-Jersey Jen, and have realized that for almost 13 months now I've been pissing away my time on Facebook and CafeMom rather than recording memories, accomplishments, and irregularities in what could and SHOULD be a fabulous, popular mommy blog.
I haven't even written down the unsolicited advice that runs through my head all day like the Fox News below-screen ticker. Ridiculous.
It must change... tomorrow, let's try a new leaf. And let's turn it!
Thursday, July 30, 2009
കമിംഗ് സൂണ്...
Agh, damnit, why does the Malayalam keep popping up?!?
What I want to say is, COMING SOON...
From Me to You; Unsolicited Advice
or,
Reflections on a Year of Successful Motherhood
or,
My Baby Has Lived Longer Than A Houseplant
(that last one's a bit grim, right?)
What I want to say is, COMING SOON...
From Me to You; Unsolicited Advice
or,
Reflections on a Year of Successful Motherhood
or,
My Baby Has Lived Longer Than A Houseplant
(that last one's a bit grim, right?)
Friday, August 1, 2008
Birth Story (first draft...)
This started out as an email but got too long... so I thought I'd leave it here to work on. These are basically chronological recollections and reconstructions from what Saby, Tabby, myself, and the two student nurses remembered from the night Elena was born. It all blurs out quickly for the mother, so I've been working on it since the first Friday we were at home, but as I recall or am told other things, I will add them. Not even necessarily for the entertainment of others, but for my own memory.
Would I do it again naturally? ABSOLUTELY. I have absolutely no regrets other than I didn't push as efficiently as I could have, because I was afraid of blowing my bottom out :-)
Here we go:
Although when I finally sat down to watch "The Business of Being Born" the movie had been removed, I think I beat "the system" and had just about the exact birth I wanted. On Tuesday at about 3am I woke up, partially because of a lightening storm and part for having my first contractions. I wandered edgily around the house, checking the weather channel in the dark and wondering if it were some sort of twisted premonition that maybe our child would be born on a tornado day or something. No, not so. Went back to sleep and had my first conscious contraction. Knew it right away - somehow had the presence of mind to count through it, and also imagined myself walking up a hill and back down (as contractions have peaks, and taper off... where I had [recently] read that, I know not). Guiltily called the midwife on Saby's urgings, and were told by a sleepy sounding Margie to chill at home and did, dutifully counting and timing contractions all morning and afternoon. Saby refused to go on a walk with me (which everyone was suggesting) because i think he imagined a birth on the corner down the block or something... so on his suggestion I did about 20 minutes of a yoga dvd and things really took off from there. I got in the shower under nice hot water, swayed back and forth, and he went downstairs to load the car and called the midwife, and she said we could come in and get checked... I don't think she thought we were very far along, because I was very calm and wasn't making a big deal about the pain. (thank you hypnobirthing and over-dosed pregnancy reading!!) We left for the hospital at 5 pm and when we got there, they checked me and I was 5 centimeters already :D So... we ordered dinner from MVH's awesome catering so we'd have something for later... I ate a few bites of chocolate mousse cake and some grapes, and me, Saby and my doula-friend Tabby all just sort of sat and chatted between contractions... I remember even saying to Tabby, as a contraction ended, that my mind flipped right back to whatever we were gossiping about! I was sitting on a birthing ball or leaning against it on the bed and swaying like a gypsy, which felt better than just standing or sitting. (the two Family Beginnings nurses were very complimentary of my lungi, saying it was just too comfy and convenient. for those who don't know, Lungis are the little "skirt" things that guys in Kerala wear. I was wearing one of Saby's.)
What I couldn't believe and had never read anybody else having was how much pressure and soreness was there in my legs... from the knee up towards my pelvis, that was so sore just generally and I had never expected that. At like 8:30 they checked me again and said I was 9.5 cm dilated and there was a little "lip of a cervix" in the front, so I should do somethings bending over to push the baby against it and then it would be time to push. Pretty quick after that I had an urge to push, which surprised me pleasantly, but not constantly or anything... they were filling up the tub and I was EXCITED to get in. At some point they said "do you mind if we have some students come in to watch? they've never seen a water birth or a natural birth..." So we had an audience but I didn't care, because I didn't open my eyes from about 9 o'clock onwards.
Holy crapoly... I got in, and it was like instant relief. I was making really corny jokes and floating around like a frog or turtle on my stomach, and the midwife and nurse came in and looked at me and said "you know, we tell people to do that and they won't... you're doing exactly the right thing." (yaaay! it felt good! why not!) floated around like that for awhile, and almost felt like I was wasting people's time... so after awhile contractions started coming back a bit more, and I tried pushing.
I asked Tabby to read to me from the Hypnobirthing book about pushing breathing, because it was never really covered in the class and I didn't feel like I was getting enough of a natural urge to know what to do. She read - like a heaven-sent book on tape - in the most beautiful calm voice ever, which provided me stress relief although not really any terribly specific information. I didn't want to get my body out of the beautiful pain-killing water, so I was pushing down between Saby's legs (he was seated on the side of the tub). It wasn't going really well, I think I pushed there for like an hour and a half or so. They wanted me to keep emptying my bladder, and I remember doing it a few times (was drinking lots of water) but apparently not enough. Speaking of water, they did break mine at some point - I couldn't really tell as it didn't hurt or anything, but I gave myself and little baby kudos after hearing the midwife say "ooh, nice clear water." (whoo hooo, no poop inside = non-stressed baby!)
The pushing did not seem like it was going anywhere - I was just trying to do whatever seemed the most natural and efficient to get the baby out at that point, but it was starting to really a.) hurt and b.) be discouraging. I think I got that time-warp sort of thing they talk about, because it seemed like every 5 minutes they were stopping me to check the baby's heart beat, which in turn also freaked me out, because I was afraid they were concerned about it and that was making me more nervous. It had been too high at the beginning (I was holding a warm rice bag to my abdomen for the cramps/contractions, and was throughly reprimanded by nurse Judy), and now it was getting down from there to 120 and all. Still definitely normal I guess, but the difference to me in my mind was shocking and disturbing. Everything seemed like it was going south, although all spectators and involved parties were still very upbeat and encouraging... "you're doing great" etc etc. Although it did suck - I can't think of a better way to describe it - whenever they'd ask me how I was doing, I would smile and give a thumbs up.
To me it seemed sudden, so - SUDDENLY, they said they wanted me to empty my bladder on the toilet. Getting out of the tub was an ordeal. I was pretty much naked - in a soaked tan sleep bra and nothing else - so they wrapped me in towels and blankets, put a pillow on the back of the industrial hospital toilet, and there I sat, dutifully trying my best to pee and, alternately, push. I think I was there with Tabby and Saby in the dark for about 15 minutes, asking for water, and I'm not sure if I ever did pee... but then they said to come to the bed. BUMMER! But bed sounded just a little better than toilet, so off we went... that 7 feet between the loo and the bed were tough. I somehow was heaved into the bed, onto my back, and my legs were neatly folded up so my bum was basically in the air. Then the counting began. How I had watched "Baby Story" and other Discovery Health shows, telling Saby how horrid and crappy that "push... c'mon, 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9..and 10!" scene was for both baby and mom. I couldn't help thinking that if I was holding my breath, then BABY was holding it too... poor thing. And ever since pushing urges had started, all I could imagine was my entire ass turning inside out and spending the rest of my life as a giant hemorrhoid. THAT should have been on the Birth Affirmations CD that I listened too... other than "your cervix is pink and healthy" it should have said "You will push your baby into the world without sustaining any longterm damage to your undercarriage." By the time we were on the bed though, I was past caring... it was "Get Baby Out!" time. I pushed. I held my breath and pushed. I learned at that point that I was not holding my breath enough - I was still letting it out. So damnit, I PUSHED like a mutha.
My eyes were shut for this entire process. At one point, I had what I felt like was a very productive push, and suddenly everyone was gone. Everyone in my line of sight, that is. The nurse and midwife suddenly had run over to the other side of the room! I asked "what happened? Did the baby come out?" I was scared that it had, and something was wrong. But no... they were just getting supplies apparently. The student nurses were still holding my legs and saying sweet things to me. I think Saby had thrown himself under the bed at this point. Soon after I think she crowned, and they asked me to reach down and feel my baby.... it felt like a tomato, all wet and squishy through my distended lady parts, and when they asked me again as her head emerged to touch my baby, I apparently told them "no, I don't want to hurt her." (her? hmmmm). Although I'm sure the events of this paragraph must have taken like 5 minutes, they went by in a flash for me, and the midwife very sternly told me, 'Open your eyes and push that baby towards the ceiling!!" So I did, and suddenly:
push,
gush,
splash,
orgasmic squishy feeling of relief and release...
and suddenly a very wet, warm, wiggly baby was on my abdomen.
My legs were still up in the air. They didn't come down for another 15 minutes or so, ahhhhhhhhh... but the nurses were still holding them, and best of all, I was holding my baby. Who was a SHE baby. Who was filled "with crap" (said the midwife, meaning lots of mucus) but who had a pretty face and wide, wide open eyes and a big round mouth. She looked at me and I looked at her, while they rubbed both of us down. I could feel the big thick umbilical cord still coming out from between my legs - bizzare-o!! - and attaching us... they were rubbing her back and trying to get her to cough, although she was making nice newborn sounds as far as I was concerned... I guess they wanted a nice lusty cry. It seemed too soon but they took her about 4 feet away to clean her up a bit... measure, wipe, warm, and all... and that's where she proceeded to protest by pooping 3 times on nurse Judy. Meanwhile I was having a fun time getting my abdomen manipulated and delivering the placenta... whooo hooo, what fun! Then came stitches - I had torn a little bit, but apparently not in the terribly predictable areas, so I got a double seam, lucky me. In retrospect, that was the most painful part of the ENTIRE proceedings, because I still had my damn legs in the air after what seemed like 20 full hours. (they had been hurting from about 2pm onwards... the actually having to hold them up and out was just the icing on the horrid cake). Although exhausted, and soon, FREEZING, I felt like a million bucks and was telling jokes and explaining to the nurses how we had called the baby Spampy. Saby was calling across the room to her, "Spampyyy... Spampy!" and her little arm flew up in the air, on the warmer, as if it say, "I'm here, Daddy!"
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