The white board that was once dedicated to me jotting down Elena's achievements needs to be re-purposed, and so rather than find the baby book I will just archive the information here.
Starting at 6 months ("all finished" was recognized by the pediatrician during her 6 month appointment that she wanted "all finished" as soon as possible), she learned the following signs in something close to the order they're listed:
all finished
more
eat
dada
drink
cracker
diaper
bonka (grandma)
banana
water
milk
sleepy
thank you
fish
apple
bird
cat
horse
dog
"big uh-oh" (or "poopy" - a made-up sign taught by Aunt Kathy and Grandma just after her first birthday consisting of holding her nose)
book
airplane
car
soap
"wash hands"
boat
train
cookie
yogurt
hot
blanket
"change diaper"
bath
bike
noodles
hot
Signs we had wanted to learn, but never did: cold, medicine, doctor, cow, sheep, pig, cheese
Words - her first words were "Dada" and "dog" at 10 months, followed by:
"bebe" (baby)
mama
thank you ("taaaankoo")
broccoli (16 months)
ball
"Bye mama" (first 2 word phrase at 17 months, often closely followed by)
"go go" (17 months - would stand in front of gate, armed with some sort of bag, urging me, I suppose, to take her somewhere fun)
down (which also meant up for the longest time)
doctor (at 18 month appointment, which flattered the doctor)
"Bro!" (circa fall 2009, one of the few people who would text message Sebastian was Brian, the singer of their band. He calls everyone "bro" and when the text message tone would sound, Saby would duly check and announce in exaggerated imitation of Brian, that it was "Broooooo-w". Somewhere Elena picked up on this and began yelling "Bro!" anytime Saby's phone would ring, which much delighted us and ESPECIALLY Brian, who is still known as Bro to her to this day.)
On our India trip, she learned "Caca" (Malayalam for crow, and very onomatopoeic, no?) and "palli", Malayalam name for the salamander-sized house lizards that abound everywhere except my mother-in-law's house
First three word phrase: "I do it" (learned from buddy Sophia while on the playground July 3rd)
She then had one that involved "mama. eating. ______." more, perhaps? I need to decrease my appetite, apparently, if it's that obvious to a 22 month old.
Other notable combinations include:
Complimentary mentions of her friends. "Pretty baby Micah" was a shout out to the beautiful baby sister of best friend "Fee-ya" (Sophia) And calling her buddy Andy "Fee-ya" meant she loved him just as much. Her boyfriend Gabriel was known as "Maeee" and then "Maeeeeb," and finally is just regular but much beloved "Gabe" now.
"two, two pacis." at some point in Spring of 2010, her obsession with the number two (and therefore object plurality, I suppose) led her to request two pacis every night. This became a requirement for her to be comfortable enough to go to bed. We indulged it until her 2nd birthday and still do on occasional "tough" nights
Along those same lines, "waaaaaan [one], TWO! waaan two WAAAN [etc.] I told Saby she was counting in binary code and he corrected me... binary is 0 and 1; she was counting in tertiary.
"moush! eating!" her name and description of current favorite movie, Ratatouille, recorded on the DVR. She knows where all the commercials are (asking me, "Mo', moush?" a few seconds before the break comes and then describing what comes after the break - "moush. egg! coo-king." or "dada. ego." [she thinks one of the cooks looks like Dada, and another oft-referenced character is Anton Ego])
"pretty ________" insert any word she knows. Pretty penguins. Pretty Momma. Pretty Dada. Pretty necknace (necklace)
"Yesh, ma'am. Yesh, Way-cha" (Yes ma'am, yes Rachel) After spending two days during our move with our friend (who hails from the Deep South) Rachel May, Elena came back a polite little belle. But any "yes ma'am" was always accompanied by a nod to her etiquette coach, "yes Way-cha".
Perhaps our all time favorite, that we never correct in hopes that she'll go to college mispronouncing it... "O-PONSH" It means "open" and has a very wide variety of uses... opening doors, unbuckling seatbelts, unscrewing lids, turning on the water faucet, taking off a diaper. She will ask you to "oponsh" (take off) your bracelet so that she can wear it... proving all that gypsy training paid off!
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
I have a two year old
I have a two year old!
Her name is E-Unit. She is the prototype for many more Units who have speculated launch dates of fall 2011, 2013 and perhaps even 2015. So far, and especially for being a first model, I've very pleased with how she's performed.
She sleeps well, sleeps lots, and goes down without drama. Eats decently. Poos and pees consistently with minimal leakage. Our model has a few upgrades, like immodestly good coordination and a penchant for singing. Our favorite upgrade? She has RHYTHM... I swear to God, she can keep a beat after 24 months on this earth. These features and upgrades seem to be just as novel and entertaining for her as they are to us; much like when she was 4 and 5 months old and thrilled with the realization of various structural design aspects like her hands and feet.
We've logged quite a few miles with the E-unit, having been to Michigan at 6 weeks, Chicago at 4 months, Florida at 10 months, and India at 19 months. Each varying terrain and climate has been handled phenomenally by the Unit - although the India trip proved that the E-units ideal operating temperature is probably somewhere below 90 degrees Fahrenheit. With proper upkeep and maintenance, our E-Unit seems ready to tackle any challenge we put before her.
We are not without bugs and flaws in our system, though. As she neared her second year of life, the E-Unit has been plagued with minor problems. Irritations namely, but together they do bring down her (and therefore, our family's) efficiency level. She's been making a strange sound a lot... "No." "No no no no no no." It can be provoked by user error - asking a question, offering something, or even just a statement can result in hearing this annoying sound. Luckily we've realized that sufficient nourishment, lubrication, cleaning and entertainment can lower the frequency of this problem.
I have to say, in all honesty [and no modesty, har har har], that I think many people envy our E-Unit. But that's the thing they don't understand. ANYONE can have an E-Unit. With proper research and a good, thorough instruction manual, any Unit rolling off the assembly line, provided it's a factory utilizing good materials and a quality workforce, can be as good or better than ours.
Happy birthday, E-Unit! Keep on rollin' strong!
Her name is E-Unit. She is the prototype for many more Units who have speculated launch dates of fall 2011, 2013 and perhaps even 2015. So far, and especially for being a first model, I've very pleased with how she's performed.
She sleeps well, sleeps lots, and goes down without drama. Eats decently. Poos and pees consistently with minimal leakage. Our model has a few upgrades, like immodestly good coordination and a penchant for singing. Our favorite upgrade? She has RHYTHM... I swear to God, she can keep a beat after 24 months on this earth. These features and upgrades seem to be just as novel and entertaining for her as they are to us; much like when she was 4 and 5 months old and thrilled with the realization of various structural design aspects like her hands and feet.
We've logged quite a few miles with the E-unit, having been to Michigan at 6 weeks, Chicago at 4 months, Florida at 10 months, and India at 19 months. Each varying terrain and climate has been handled phenomenally by the Unit - although the India trip proved that the E-units ideal operating temperature is probably somewhere below 90 degrees Fahrenheit. With proper upkeep and maintenance, our E-Unit seems ready to tackle any challenge we put before her.
We are not without bugs and flaws in our system, though. As she neared her second year of life, the E-Unit has been plagued with minor problems. Irritations namely, but together they do bring down her (and therefore, our family's) efficiency level. She's been making a strange sound a lot... "No." "No no no no no no." It can be provoked by user error - asking a question, offering something, or even just a statement can result in hearing this annoying sound. Luckily we've realized that sufficient nourishment, lubrication, cleaning and entertainment can lower the frequency of this problem.
I have to say, in all honesty [and no modesty, har har har], that I think many people envy our E-Unit. But that's the thing they don't understand. ANYONE can have an E-Unit. With proper research and a good, thorough instruction manual, any Unit rolling off the assembly line, provided it's a factory utilizing good materials and a quality workforce, can be as good or better than ours.
Happy birthday, E-Unit! Keep on rollin' strong!
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Holy crap, people read this?
I'm gonna start chargin' all two or three of you money. You must have some excellent notification set up to let you know when I post, because it's certainly not at any regular interval. Maybe ever few days after NEVAAAAH?
God bless you, Liz and Kim, and perhaps Kristine?
God bless you, Liz and Kim, and perhaps Kristine?
The beginning of a long musical career...
I caught E and Dada playing guitar together. It's especially impressive because of a.) the patience and enthusiasm of both student and teacher, and b.) Daddy's willingness to have his diaper-less daughter sit on his lap so close to a borrowed gee-tar.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Transcript from the monitor
On more neglectful mornings (like today) when I sit in bed, creeping around on Facebook and reading the news, I hear lots of interesting things over Elena's monitor. She certainly knows how to keep me (and herself) entertained.
No No No No
Do-a-doo (do a deer from The Sound of Music)
Bon-kaaaa? (calling for her grandma)
Daaaad... daaad! (daddy in a valley girl accent)
Humming "I'd like to stay and taste my first champagne" (more Sound of Music)
Monkey? Monkey? (which leads me to believe she's about to throw her monkey across the room)
Bebe? Bebebe? Bye-bye... (uh oh)
Yum yum (pretending to eat?)
Hey-yo? Hellooo? Hii, hiiiii...
Daa-daaaaa! Dada? Dadadadadada?
all manners of fake coughing and sneezing (attempts to get me to show up?)
On previous occasions, we've heard:
Baby DOWWWWN!
Cat, dog and cow noises
Pullli! (calling for her lizard)
Up, up up... (and then) Dowwwwn! Doooowwwwwn!
No No No No
Do-a-doo (do a deer from The Sound of Music)
Bon-kaaaa? (calling for her grandma)
Daaaad... daaad! (daddy in a valley girl accent)
Humming "I'd like to stay and taste my first champagne" (more Sound of Music)
Monkey? Monkey? (which leads me to believe she's about to throw her monkey across the room)
Bebe? Bebebe? Bye-bye... (uh oh)
Yum yum (pretending to eat?)
Hey-yo? Hellooo? Hii, hiiiii...
Daa-daaaaa! Dada? Dadadadadada?
all manners of fake coughing and sneezing (attempts to get me to show up?)
On previous occasions, we've heard:
Baby DOWWWWN!
Cat, dog and cow noises
Pullli! (calling for her lizard)
Up, up up... (and then) Dowwwwn! Doooowwwwwn!
Open Letter to My Friend, Fellow Bloggerette, and Fellow Mother-o'-Toddler Kim
I suck as a conspiracy partner.
Mainly because I can't even remember the proper terminology. A... responsibility partner? Reinforcement partner? Reliability? What is it I'm supposed to be, yet have neither fully understood nor taken any initiative to actually participate? But perhaps I can blame that on you, since you're the ying to my yang that's supposed to be either prodding me with a stick, or dangling that yummy carrot out in front :-)
Well, all that aside, here's what I've been thinking about lately.
A.) Your photos rock, and you and the fam are looking great. Between the cool photographer shots and the simple "who wears it better," I must say that we Georges really enjoy a chance to look at you guys from afar and see how you all are flourishing among the bluebelles of Texas.
B.) I want to be cool and join in on Twitter parties for book reading and all, but I lack a mobile device that's Twitter-capable and hate sitting in front of the laptop (or worse, sitting the laptop on my lady parts with just a pillow to disperse the radiation). Someday I will catch up with 2008 technology, I swear. C.) Gotta get Skype. That's just silly on my part to not have it yet. Maybe my parents actually taking an interest in Elena will help me keep motivated on that one. (Motivation partner?!? Is that it?)
D.) The DCI Championships are coming up soon here, and I will miss you. I told Saby that he has to come for at least one night's worth (I know he'll love it!). I'm not sure what I am going to do with Miss Elena without a stroller, but I suppose we can keep her from running onto the performance area somehow. (after a recent collision with the tv stand during Do-Re-Mi from The Sound of Music, I don't know what all this kid will do to get herself involved in interesting musical situations!) Perhaps if Miss Juniper were there to clap and hoot along with her, she'd behave better?
E.) I still have a present for you from India, and the only thing keeping me from getting it to you is my huge dislike of the post office. I apologize. Soon... perhaps today! (Motivation partner? IS THAT IT?!?)
F.) What does Juniper say? Does she use words? Does she mimic you? What are her tricks? Elena is very good with her P's and Q's, but takes the "please" to the extreme. God forbid she offers another child something and they don't take it... you look away for a minute and suddenly she's beating them over the head, yelling "bleese? BLEESE?" Not that I want her to beat Juniper over the head (although I have a feeling J'pop can fight back with the best of 'em) but I do want to hear what endearing-yet-horrifying sort of stories you might have, so that I don't feel alone in the mildly entertained/embarassed motherhood world.
G.) Would LOVE LOVE LUUUUUV to read this with you: http://hotair.com/archives/2010/04/13/book-review-a-time-to-betray/
H.) You're very cool, Kim. Very much a kindred spirit, and I don't want to lose touch with you because it seems so much potential for awesome friendship is there. While we only knew each other in person for like 5 months or something, just knowing you're out there in the world does provide motivation of some sort to write, to communicate, to hopefully visit someday, etc. I dropped the ball on BlogHer but maybe I can catch the ball on the rebound for next year... you'll have to tell me how it goes. I'll live vicariously through you until I get the enthu to get off my can :-)
Which leads me to say I must go and get outta bed and into the shower. Not sure if Elena went back to sleep, or if she's just playing in her crib, silently lighting matches and eating sharp rusty metal. But better make hay while the child sleeps or however that saying goes.
God speed and God bless you, my partner-in-crime!
Lina
Mainly because I can't even remember the proper terminology. A... responsibility partner? Reinforcement partner? Reliability? What is it I'm supposed to be, yet have neither fully understood nor taken any initiative to actually participate? But perhaps I can blame that on you, since you're the ying to my yang that's supposed to be either prodding me with a stick, or dangling that yummy carrot out in front :-)
Well, all that aside, here's what I've been thinking about lately.
A.) Your photos rock, and you and the fam are looking great. Between the cool photographer shots and the simple "who wears it better," I must say that we Georges really enjoy a chance to look at you guys from afar and see how you all are flourishing among the bluebelles of Texas.
B.) I want to be cool and join in on Twitter parties for book reading and all, but I lack a mobile device that's Twitter-capable and hate sitting in front of the laptop (or worse, sitting the laptop on my lady parts with just a pillow to disperse the radiation). Someday I will catch up with 2008 technology, I swear. C.) Gotta get Skype. That's just silly on my part to not have it yet. Maybe my parents actually taking an interest in Elena will help me keep motivated on that one. (Motivation partner?!? Is that it?)
D.) The DCI Championships are coming up soon here, and I will miss you. I told Saby that he has to come for at least one night's worth (I know he'll love it!). I'm not sure what I am going to do with Miss Elena without a stroller, but I suppose we can keep her from running onto the performance area somehow. (after a recent collision with the tv stand during Do-Re-Mi from The Sound of Music, I don't know what all this kid will do to get herself involved in interesting musical situations!) Perhaps if Miss Juniper were there to clap and hoot along with her, she'd behave better?
E.) I still have a present for you from India, and the only thing keeping me from getting it to you is my huge dislike of the post office. I apologize. Soon... perhaps today! (Motivation partner? IS THAT IT?!?)
F.) What does Juniper say? Does she use words? Does she mimic you? What are her tricks? Elena is very good with her P's and Q's, but takes the "please" to the extreme. God forbid she offers another child something and they don't take it... you look away for a minute and suddenly she's beating them over the head, yelling "bleese? BLEESE?" Not that I want her to beat Juniper over the head (although I have a feeling J'pop can fight back with the best of 'em) but I do want to hear what endearing-yet-horrifying sort of stories you might have, so that I don't feel alone in the mildly entertained/embarassed motherhood world.
G.) Would LOVE LOVE LUUUUUV to read this with you: http://hotair.com/archives/2010/04/13/book-review-a-time-to-betray/
H.) You're very cool, Kim. Very much a kindred spirit, and I don't want to lose touch with you because it seems so much potential for awesome friendship is there. While we only knew each other in person for like 5 months or something, just knowing you're out there in the world does provide motivation of some sort to write, to communicate, to hopefully visit someday, etc. I dropped the ball on BlogHer but maybe I can catch the ball on the rebound for next year... you'll have to tell me how it goes. I'll live vicariously through you until I get the enthu to get off my can :-)
Which leads me to say I must go and get outta bed and into the shower. Not sure if Elena went back to sleep, or if she's just playing in her crib, silently lighting matches and eating sharp rusty metal. But better make hay while the child sleeps or however that saying goes.
God speed and God bless you, my partner-in-crime!
Lina
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
:(
It feels hot behind my eyes. I am alternately cold and hot, and have a pretty sneaky headache. I think I have a UTI. (just because I won't share my below the belt symptoms with everyone doesn't mean they're not there.)
Woe is me... off to drink cranberry juice.
Woe is me... off to drink cranberry juice.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Unsolicited Advice - seriously
Almost twenty months of motherhood, about nine months of pretty happy pregnancy before that, and a keen, judgmental eye make me feel qualified to call myself a successful mother and give you the following unsolicited but well-though and well-intended advice.
Please note, much of the more philosophical advisings are based on things I've either read, seen in action myself, or heard through friends. Please don't think I have a horrible relationship with my own in-laws, spouse, friends, family or conscience and am using this to snarkily revenge past misdeeds. I just like to over-analyze, and judge. A lot of outlandish things have been said while I was within earshot, whether they were intended for me or not; we've also witnessed some ridiculous and beautiful things first hand. I think we've learned almost as much from the mistakes - our own, and of others - as from the positive examples. Just as long as we're learning, I suppose!
1. Don't buy pacifiers at garage sales. Har har har... just kidding... that was just a warm up.
Real number 1: READ. Read books about kids and babies, not just your general "What to Expect" sort of things, but specifics: No-Cry Sleep Solutions, ANYTHING by The Baby Whisperer, Happiest Toddler on the Block. Philosophies you think are total crap can be very insightful and interesting, even if just for a good laugh and conversations at your mom's group.
But in all seriousness, we owe our lives and our sanity to The Baby Whisperer, God rest her poor soul... and watch out, I just found The Baby Whisperer for Toddlers!
I say this because you can try doing things by trial and error, but deciding what sort of parenting stance you want to take ahead of time will save you lots of sleepless nights and potential arguments with your spouse, and anyone else involved in the raising of your child.
Which leads me to...
2. You and your spouse are the primary caregivers to your children. Not your parents, not nannies, not aunts and uncles, not your sister, brother, best friend, whatever. It is nice, customary, and extremely helpful to have assistance during the initial period after delivery, but keep in mind that whenever everyone leaves, YOU and YOU ALONE have to know how to feed, bathe, put to sleep, comfort, and generally keep this child breathing.
With this in mind, my advice: have your helpers help you with everything, once you're mobile, but the baby. Let them get in their obligatory grandmother/aunt/brother/whatever time, but when it comes to putting the child down to sleep and all, you do it. Don't get stuck in the rut where your mother-in-law does you the favor of putting the child to bed; once her bags are packed and she's gone, the child still wants that amazing, now totally routine bedtime that you are completely unaware of!
Truuuuuust me. Be your child's parent. It does not take a village. It takes you.
3. Sort of an addendum to that. Older folks will tell you all sorts of rubbish, with varying levels of cynicism, condescension, and tact. "Honey, we hold a baby like this."
"Why is he so LITTLE?"
"You can't give them a bath at night, they'll catch cold."
Carry on with what you firmly believe. It is your kid. It is their routine, which in turn leads to a great deal of their sense of stability and happiness, which in turns results in your sanity. Don't compromise to make anyone else happy where your kid is concerned.
4. Other than what you receive as gifts, buy baby towels at second hand shops and mom-to-mom sales. They're the easiest of all baby things to wash and bleach, and you can get a week's worth for what one new towel would cost you.
5. In fact, get ALL SORTS of stuff at second hand shops and mom-to-mom sales. Toys especially - they are gently used for the most part (of course it's your job to wipe them down!) and much, much cheaper than retail. Google recall notices on things you buy that could be dangerous - riding toys, things with strings or little pieces, etc.
6. I HIGHLY SUGGEST THIS STROLLER! Especially if you have a kid that will be anywhere between ages 0 and 7 months sometime during winter. Trust me on this - get this relatively cheap-o stroller. It is VERY functional (I walked a 5K with mine!), has great storage and cup holders (which are ESSENTIAL for mother sanity on those all important trips out to, say, Target... where you will wander the aisles with a sleeping child, sipping a snack bar cappuccino as if you haven't left the house in weeks... which will, in all honestly, very probably be the case. Having twins? Get this one: Double Snap N Go . Again, I say TRUST ME. Seriously. You will be happy you did.
7. That being said, once your kid starts to get a little big to be lugging complete with infant seat out of the automobile, spring for your SECOND stroller... something fun and fancy like this. http://www.amazon.com/Baby-Jogger-Single-Stroller-Black/dp/B002MZZJVQ/ref=sr_1_20?ie=UTF8&s=sporting-goods&qid=1270242715&sr=1-20 I say "SECOND" because often by this time, people have compiled a stroller collection out of desperation to meet every varying situational need. That's why you should get the SnugRide, dude!
8. Don't start solid foods until at least 6 months unless your pediatrician suggests it. They'll be eating solid foods the rest of their life. Enjoy breastfeeding or bottles for a little while longer.
9. Don't scorn using a pacifier. Babies need to suckle their first 3 months of life.
9.5 If you use a paci, get Avent pacifiers because (IMHO) they look the least dumb of all pacifiers! :-)
10. Buy your kid lots of white clothes to wear before they start eating solid foods. They look really cute in white, and the get white really messy after they start eating fruits and veggies. (Buy OxyClean once they start eating solids!)
11. Don't be afraid to take your kid on walks, out in nature, at any age, and in any season - dressed appropriately of course.
12. Get your kid into Mommy & Me swimming lessons sometime before they turn 1. They will love the water... and you don't need to know how to swim to take the lessons.
13. Of all the useless baby equipment, I personally think SWING tops the list. If your kid learns to fall asleep using any "altered reality" - a swing, a vibrating seat, being rocked constantly - they will always need that to sleep. Don't set yourself up for failure.
14. Buy a sound machine. Nice ambient noise (waves, rain, thunderstorms, frogs, whatever) will drown out any junk happening during nap time and hopefully help keep you from having a light sleeper.
15. Keep it DARK in their bedroom.
16. If you're considering co-sleeping... please, please, PLEASE reconsider. Sure, it's easier at the time... but what a nightmare at 1, 2, or 3 years when you finally want to sleep alone. I've honestly never heard any good coming from cosleeping, beyond the consolation prizes of pleasant snuggling and easy nursing, which are just as easy to achieve with the kid being in your room in a co-sleeper or crib. You kid will sleep deeper, you will sleep easier, and you and your partner might just be able to have sex again sometime before their 4th birthday.
17. If you have some sort of philosophy that says you'll only buy your child non-battery operated wooden toys that aren't made in China, be prepared to give a little. :-) (this was so me)
18. Bumpo seats: I have a vague notion that these might make kids slower to reach the milestone of sitting up on their own. They are great, sure... they let kids from about 3 months onward be able to sit up whether they're able to on their own or not, but I think the support system doesn't let their muscles develop like they should. That being said, lots of parents still love them. I had one gifted to me after Elena could already sit up unassisted, and it was still pretty handy.
19. Make a registry. For the love of God, make a registry.
20. Play music for your kid! Duh. Any any kind - Elena likes Dream Theater and Muse just as much as Bach and Mozart.
21. If you have any intention of pumping breastmilk for any amount of time, or having other children in the future, go ahead and spend some money to get yourself a good pump. Just beware all the extras that they try to get you to buy. Two bottles, some plastic bags for freezing milk, and maybe one set of 5 of the sanitizing steam bags will do ya just fine. Squeeze Lanolin onto the breast shields and you'll get better suction and thus a better yield.
22. Aveeno products kick ass. I especially like the Lavender Baby Wash/Shampoo, but it made Elena break out to use it on her body, so we just wash her hair with it. And the bottle lasted almost 13 months, with a bath almost every single day!
23. Don't skimp on the Infant Seat... the SnugRide fits for longer - until 30 or 32 lbs, I believe, depending on their height. It costs a little more than other seats, but also has a better safety rating. There are much better seats that cost more (Chicco, Britax) but if you're on a budget these are darn good. Plus it fits in the snazzy SnugRide stroller frame.
24. BABY EINSTEIN. I have a beef with Baby Einstein. Their books are horrible. The rhyme schemes are stupid and illogical, and the pictures are colorful but cartoonish. Babies under a year old are supposed to look at pictures of real things - specifically photographic images of real things. The Baby Einstein videos are like baby crack. From the few I've seen, specifically geared for babies, they just show babies playing with cool toys. Why not let you baby play with cool toys instead, rather than lure them into a hypnotic trance watching other kids? Although if you've got a jumpy kid, maybe that trance would be welcomed. Your choice :-)
But - some Baby Einstein toys are pretty cool. It's nice that their toys play lots of classical music.
An aside: in 2009 Baby Einstein offered a refund on all their DVDs, saying you could receive a check for $15.99 if you returned any dvd purchased between 2004 and then (or something like that, timewise). This was because they were labeled as "educational" and then found to be absolutely education neutral.
25. That being said, I do LOVE the Baby Signing Time series. We did not let Elena watch TV - as in, sometimes we had it on while she was around, but we did not plop her down in front of SpongeBob at age 4 months or anything. Around 5 or 6 months, we started sitting with her to watch these dvds, about 30 minutes long each, and she was thrilled. Not sure if she was excited by the idea of having her OWN show to watch, or by seeing other babies and children, or the music, or a combination of those, but she LOVES it today and asks for it by signing "baby" while standing by the TV. She has learned about 25 signs from the show, and knows the songs. I really think these are fabulous videos! But...
26. The American Academy of Pediatrics advises parents not to allow any television viewing for children ages 2 and younger—regardless of content. To quote their policy statement, "Although certain television programs may be promoted to this age group, research on early brain development shows that babies and toddlers have a critical need for direct interactions with parents and other significant caregivers for healthy brain growth and the development of appropriate social, emotional and cognitive skills."
It was put to me this way by my pediatrician: "you kid will get more out of watching you fold laundry than watching any sort of TV." Sigh. (plus, they'll want to help you fold the laundry - which is a total win-win situation!)
It absolutely breaks my heart when I read in the July 2008 babies forum that CrzyBtch4's kid can say "dada, mama, and bob-bob, that means spongebob, her favorite show, lol isnt that the cutest?" No, it's not cute. You're a retard.
27. Get a Johny Jump-up or doorway jumper! They're super for being able to take a shower without leaving your child terribly neglected... and it will strengthen their legs, neck and core, and help their balance too! I am seriously surprised that Elena never smushed her hand between the edge of the jumper seat and the door, but it just never happened. Coincidence? Clever design? I don't know if that was a selling point or not, as we received ours 2nd hand, sans-instructions. So my advice: don't fret about it and enjoy your shower.
28. Don't worry too much about buying littler babies (up to 5-6 months) jackets and coats. They shouldn't wear anything too puffy in the car seat, because it messes with the design and safety features of the restraints. I found this thing to be an absolute "Godsend" [said in operatic voice... and cue Hallelujah Chorus by Handel]. Keeps baby warm but not sweaty, and most of all, SAFE!
29. Supposedly BeechNut brand baby foods are really good - this is what the Sneaky Chef lady said in her books. All natural, very few additives, mostly organic? I dunno, they don't advertise any of this very well, so it was news to me. I never got them because they were cheapest, so I figured they were worst. Whoopsie?!?
30. Don't be embarrassed if you end up taking your kid to the hospital at 3am... for gas :-)
31. T.J. Maxx has incredibly cute and incredibly cheap baby clothes. And some random toys and stuff too. What a treat to go in there and hit the clearance rack. Two dollar onesies with witty sayings that you don't normally see on the same-ol', Carters-Meijer-Walmart-Macys-Old Navy circuit? Game on!
32. Once your kid starts eating solid food and has enough teeth, let them try, and subsequently EAT, everything. I remember watching in wide-eyed amazement as my friend's 9 month old ate food court fried rice and General Tso's chicken during a mall playdate. Holy moly! Now that same child, just short of two years, is eating sushi on picnics and olives with tuna (woah) at home. There's no barrier to what a kid can eat*, as long as they can chew it and it doesn't make them explode in allergies!!!
*beyond the age restrictions on eggs, peanuts, nuts, shellfish, etc... follow your Pedi's suggestions!
33. Did I say this already? Please please please... Have a ROUTINE... but not a schedule. Be a little flexible, and your kid will (hopefully) be a little flexible too. And that is a GODSEND.
34. Sorry charlie... shaving your baby's head at any point during their early years does NOT make their hair come in "nicer" or "thicker" or anything... it just comes in all at the same length, because - watch out, I'm gonna get scientific here: it's starting all at the same time. Woah, amazing right? I have an alternate theory that the regrowth after a shave might be coarser, but that's as equally based upon old wives tales as the "shaving makes it nicer" theory... with that particular old wife being my mother, who was constantly discouraging us from shaving our thighs (and thus arms) because the hair would grow back "darker and thicker, and you don't want that now do you?" :-)
35. Those nice, educational trips you take to the farm or petting zoo when your kid is 9 months old? Go back the following year and you'll be amazed at how willing they are to stand at a fence and watch a cow chew grass for hours in the hot, hot sun. (I learned this first hand on Friday! What a ton of fun, seeing baby sheep and a big cow, and a friendly barn cat... somebody was meowing and baaaaa-ing the whole way home)
36. Let me paraphrase these books for you: Trees Make the Best Mobiles and Last Child in the Woods
LIVE NEAR NATURE IF YOU CAN!!! Let you kid play outside. Turn off the TV. Work on under-stimulating in our over-stimulating world. The crack in your ceiling and the tree rustling outside are as fascinating to your newborn as the expensive mobile you registered for... plus they're free, not made in China (no offense to China), and will allow people to buy you a lot more diapers :-)
37. More to come, as I learn, judge, and read more!
Please note, much of the more philosophical advisings are based on things I've either read, seen in action myself, or heard through friends. Please don't think I have a horrible relationship with my own in-laws, spouse, friends, family or conscience and am using this to snarkily revenge past misdeeds. I just like to over-analyze, and judge. A lot of outlandish things have been said while I was within earshot, whether they were intended for me or not; we've also witnessed some ridiculous and beautiful things first hand. I think we've learned almost as much from the mistakes - our own, and of others - as from the positive examples. Just as long as we're learning, I suppose!
1. Don't buy pacifiers at garage sales. Har har har... just kidding... that was just a warm up.
Real number 1: READ. Read books about kids and babies, not just your general "What to Expect" sort of things, but specifics: No-Cry Sleep Solutions, ANYTHING by The Baby Whisperer, Happiest Toddler on the Block. Philosophies you think are total crap can be very insightful and interesting, even if just for a good laugh and conversations at your mom's group.
But in all seriousness, we owe our lives and our sanity to The Baby Whisperer, God rest her poor soul... and watch out, I just found The Baby Whisperer for Toddlers!
I say this because you can try doing things by trial and error, but deciding what sort of parenting stance you want to take ahead of time will save you lots of sleepless nights and potential arguments with your spouse, and anyone else involved in the raising of your child.
Which leads me to...
2. You and your spouse are the primary caregivers to your children. Not your parents, not nannies, not aunts and uncles, not your sister, brother, best friend, whatever. It is nice, customary, and extremely helpful to have assistance during the initial period after delivery, but keep in mind that whenever everyone leaves, YOU and YOU ALONE have to know how to feed, bathe, put to sleep, comfort, and generally keep this child breathing.
With this in mind, my advice: have your helpers help you with everything, once you're mobile, but the baby. Let them get in their obligatory grandmother/aunt/brother/whatever time, but when it comes to putting the child down to sleep and all, you do it. Don't get stuck in the rut where your mother-in-law does you the favor of putting the child to bed; once her bags are packed and she's gone, the child still wants that amazing, now totally routine bedtime that you are completely unaware of!
Truuuuuust me. Be your child's parent. It does not take a village. It takes you.
3. Sort of an addendum to that. Older folks will tell you all sorts of rubbish, with varying levels of cynicism, condescension, and tact. "Honey, we hold a baby like this."
"Why is he so LITTLE?"
"You can't give them a bath at night, they'll catch cold."
Carry on with what you firmly believe. It is your kid. It is their routine, which in turn leads to a great deal of their sense of stability and happiness, which in turns results in your sanity. Don't compromise to make anyone else happy where your kid is concerned.
4. Other than what you receive as gifts, buy baby towels at second hand shops and mom-to-mom sales. They're the easiest of all baby things to wash and bleach, and you can get a week's worth for what one new towel would cost you.
5. In fact, get ALL SORTS of stuff at second hand shops and mom-to-mom sales. Toys especially - they are gently used for the most part (of course it's your job to wipe them down!) and much, much cheaper than retail. Google recall notices on things you buy that could be dangerous - riding toys, things with strings or little pieces, etc.
6. I HIGHLY SUGGEST THIS STROLLER! Especially if you have a kid that will be anywhere between ages 0 and 7 months sometime during winter. Trust me on this - get this relatively cheap-o stroller. It is VERY functional (I walked a 5K with mine!), has great storage and cup holders (which are ESSENTIAL for mother sanity on those all important trips out to, say, Target... where you will wander the aisles with a sleeping child, sipping a snack bar cappuccino as if you haven't left the house in weeks... which will, in all honestly, very probably be the case. Having twins? Get this one: Double Snap N Go . Again, I say TRUST ME. Seriously. You will be happy you did.
7. That being said, once your kid starts to get a little big to be lugging complete with infant seat out of the automobile, spring for your SECOND stroller... something fun and fancy like this. http://www.amazon.com/Baby-Jogger-Single-Stroller-Black/dp/B002MZZJVQ/ref=sr_1_20?ie=UTF8&s=sporting-goods&qid=1270242715&sr=1-20 I say "SECOND" because often by this time, people have compiled a stroller collection out of desperation to meet every varying situational need. That's why you should get the SnugRide, dude!
8. Don't start solid foods until at least 6 months unless your pediatrician suggests it. They'll be eating solid foods the rest of their life. Enjoy breastfeeding or bottles for a little while longer.
9. Don't scorn using a pacifier. Babies need to suckle their first 3 months of life.
9.5 If you use a paci, get Avent pacifiers because (IMHO) they look the least dumb of all pacifiers! :-)
10. Buy your kid lots of white clothes to wear before they start eating solid foods. They look really cute in white, and the get white really messy after they start eating fruits and veggies. (Buy OxyClean once they start eating solids!)
11. Don't be afraid to take your kid on walks, out in nature, at any age, and in any season - dressed appropriately of course.
12. Get your kid into Mommy & Me swimming lessons sometime before they turn 1. They will love the water... and you don't need to know how to swim to take the lessons.
13. Of all the useless baby equipment, I personally think SWING tops the list. If your kid learns to fall asleep using any "altered reality" - a swing, a vibrating seat, being rocked constantly - they will always need that to sleep. Don't set yourself up for failure.
14. Buy a sound machine. Nice ambient noise (waves, rain, thunderstorms, frogs, whatever) will drown out any junk happening during nap time and hopefully help keep you from having a light sleeper.
15. Keep it DARK in their bedroom.
16. If you're considering co-sleeping... please, please, PLEASE reconsider. Sure, it's easier at the time... but what a nightmare at 1, 2, or 3 years when you finally want to sleep alone. I've honestly never heard any good coming from cosleeping, beyond the consolation prizes of pleasant snuggling and easy nursing, which are just as easy to achieve with the kid being in your room in a co-sleeper or crib. You kid will sleep deeper, you will sleep easier, and you and your partner might just be able to have sex again sometime before their 4th birthday.
17. If you have some sort of philosophy that says you'll only buy your child non-battery operated wooden toys that aren't made in China, be prepared to give a little. :-) (this was so me)
18. Bumpo seats: I have a vague notion that these might make kids slower to reach the milestone of sitting up on their own. They are great, sure... they let kids from about 3 months onward be able to sit up whether they're able to on their own or not, but I think the support system doesn't let their muscles develop like they should. That being said, lots of parents still love them. I had one gifted to me after Elena could already sit up unassisted, and it was still pretty handy.
19. Make a registry. For the love of God, make a registry.
20. Play music for your kid! Duh. Any any kind - Elena likes Dream Theater and Muse just as much as Bach and Mozart.
21. If you have any intention of pumping breastmilk for any amount of time, or having other children in the future, go ahead and spend some money to get yourself a good pump. Just beware all the extras that they try to get you to buy. Two bottles, some plastic bags for freezing milk, and maybe one set of 5 of the sanitizing steam bags will do ya just fine. Squeeze Lanolin onto the breast shields and you'll get better suction and thus a better yield.
22. Aveeno products kick ass. I especially like the Lavender Baby Wash/Shampoo, but it made Elena break out to use it on her body, so we just wash her hair with it. And the bottle lasted almost 13 months, with a bath almost every single day!
23. Don't skimp on the Infant Seat... the SnugRide fits for longer - until 30 or 32 lbs, I believe, depending on their height. It costs a little more than other seats, but also has a better safety rating. There are much better seats that cost more (Chicco, Britax) but if you're on a budget these are darn good. Plus it fits in the snazzy SnugRide stroller frame.
24. BABY EINSTEIN. I have a beef with Baby Einstein. Their books are horrible. The rhyme schemes are stupid and illogical, and the pictures are colorful but cartoonish. Babies under a year old are supposed to look at pictures of real things - specifically photographic images of real things. The Baby Einstein videos are like baby crack. From the few I've seen, specifically geared for babies, they just show babies playing with cool toys. Why not let you baby play with cool toys instead, rather than lure them into a hypnotic trance watching other kids? Although if you've got a jumpy kid, maybe that trance would be welcomed. Your choice :-)
But - some Baby Einstein toys are pretty cool. It's nice that their toys play lots of classical music.
An aside: in 2009 Baby Einstein offered a refund on all their DVDs, saying you could receive a check for $15.99 if you returned any dvd purchased between 2004 and then (or something like that, timewise). This was because they were labeled as "educational" and then found to be absolutely education neutral.
25. That being said, I do LOVE the Baby Signing Time series. We did not let Elena watch TV - as in, sometimes we had it on while she was around, but we did not plop her down in front of SpongeBob at age 4 months or anything. Around 5 or 6 months, we started sitting with her to watch these dvds, about 30 minutes long each, and she was thrilled. Not sure if she was excited by the idea of having her OWN show to watch, or by seeing other babies and children, or the music, or a combination of those, but she LOVES it today and asks for it by signing "baby" while standing by the TV. She has learned about 25 signs from the show, and knows the songs. I really think these are fabulous videos! But...
26. The American Academy of Pediatrics advises parents not to allow any television viewing for children ages 2 and younger—regardless of content. To quote their policy statement, "Although certain television programs may be promoted to this age group, research on early brain development shows that babies and toddlers have a critical need for direct interactions with parents and other significant caregivers for healthy brain growth and the development of appropriate social, emotional and cognitive skills."
It was put to me this way by my pediatrician: "you kid will get more out of watching you fold laundry than watching any sort of TV." Sigh. (plus, they'll want to help you fold the laundry - which is a total win-win situation!)
It absolutely breaks my heart when I read in the July 2008 babies forum that CrzyBtch4's kid can say "dada, mama, and bob-bob, that means spongebob, her favorite show, lol isnt that the cutest?" No, it's not cute. You're a retard.
27. Get a Johny Jump-up or doorway jumper! They're super for being able to take a shower without leaving your child terribly neglected... and it will strengthen their legs, neck and core, and help their balance too! I am seriously surprised that Elena never smushed her hand between the edge of the jumper seat and the door, but it just never happened. Coincidence? Clever design? I don't know if that was a selling point or not, as we received ours 2nd hand, sans-instructions. So my advice: don't fret about it and enjoy your shower.
28. Don't worry too much about buying littler babies (up to 5-6 months) jackets and coats. They shouldn't wear anything too puffy in the car seat, because it messes with the design and safety features of the restraints. I found this thing to be an absolute "Godsend" [said in operatic voice... and cue Hallelujah Chorus by Handel]. Keeps baby warm but not sweaty, and most of all, SAFE!
29. Supposedly BeechNut brand baby foods are really good - this is what the Sneaky Chef lady said in her books. All natural, very few additives, mostly organic? I dunno, they don't advertise any of this very well, so it was news to me. I never got them because they were cheapest, so I figured they were worst. Whoopsie?!?
30. Don't be embarrassed if you end up taking your kid to the hospital at 3am... for gas :-)
31. T.J. Maxx has incredibly cute and incredibly cheap baby clothes. And some random toys and stuff too. What a treat to go in there and hit the clearance rack. Two dollar onesies with witty sayings that you don't normally see on the same-ol', Carters-Meijer-Walmart-Macys-Old Navy circuit? Game on!
32. Once your kid starts eating solid food and has enough teeth, let them try, and subsequently EAT, everything. I remember watching in wide-eyed amazement as my friend's 9 month old ate food court fried rice and General Tso's chicken during a mall playdate. Holy moly! Now that same child, just short of two years, is eating sushi on picnics and olives with tuna (woah) at home. There's no barrier to what a kid can eat*, as long as they can chew it and it doesn't make them explode in allergies!!!
*beyond the age restrictions on eggs, peanuts, nuts, shellfish, etc... follow your Pedi's suggestions!
33. Did I say this already? Please please please... Have a ROUTINE... but not a schedule. Be a little flexible, and your kid will (hopefully) be a little flexible too. And that is a GODSEND.
34. Sorry charlie... shaving your baby's head at any point during their early years does NOT make their hair come in "nicer" or "thicker" or anything... it just comes in all at the same length, because - watch out, I'm gonna get scientific here: it's starting all at the same time. Woah, amazing right? I have an alternate theory that the regrowth after a shave might be coarser, but that's as equally based upon old wives tales as the "shaving makes it nicer" theory... with that particular old wife being my mother, who was constantly discouraging us from shaving our thighs (and thus arms) because the hair would grow back "darker and thicker, and you don't want that now do you?" :-)
35. Those nice, educational trips you take to the farm or petting zoo when your kid is 9 months old? Go back the following year and you'll be amazed at how willing they are to stand at a fence and watch a cow chew grass for hours in the hot, hot sun. (I learned this first hand on Friday! What a ton of fun, seeing baby sheep and a big cow, and a friendly barn cat... somebody was meowing and baaaaa-ing the whole way home)
36. Let me paraphrase these books for you: Trees Make the Best Mobiles and Last Child in the Woods
LIVE NEAR NATURE IF YOU CAN!!! Let you kid play outside. Turn off the TV. Work on under-stimulating in our over-stimulating world. The crack in your ceiling and the tree rustling outside are as fascinating to your newborn as the expensive mobile you registered for... plus they're free, not made in China (no offense to China), and will allow people to buy you a lot more diapers :-)
37. More to come, as I learn, judge, and read more!
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
എന്ട്ലെസ്സ് wonder
The internet is a source of endless wonder. A random search (of Calvin and Hobbes) just now led me to the new found knowledge that a widget is available to tell you the days, hours, minutes and seconds since the New York Mets last put someone on the disabled list. I assume this is some wicked inside joke among Mets fans? Or less likely, a team trainer or opposition-team Voodoo specialist? Who came up with such a marvelous, random thing, and who maintains it???
The only thing that is a source of more endless wonder is our little Elena, currently crawling all over the case of her daddy's dead-mint condition FGB Ibanez Prestige guitar. She wants desperately for me to pick her up so that she can see the shelf where her favorite toy, a Made in China remote controlled dog, resides. He lives on that high shelf because he's dangerous! A super mega strangulation hazard, with his garrote-like, 18-something inch cord connecting pup with his yellow, bone-shaped plastic remote control. Eighteen inches is not terribly remote, but it was enough to absolutely MYSTIFY Elena the first time she and that pup met. At first, she would hold the dog lovingly... snuggle him enthusiastically while saying (I assume) "dog" over and over - something like "dugk dugk dugk!" But when you pressed the buttons that made the dog walk or bark, she would be shocked and suddenly push it straight out of her hands - pow! - and then stand over it, watching it writhe on the floor. It was like the scene in Dances with Wolves where the Indians taste sugar for the first time, or use Lt. Dunbar's telescope. No fear, necessarily - just the sudden abrupt "WTF" sort of response to something you'd never expect.
Luckily (or unfortunately?) poor Dog was rendered a quadriplegic during the journey back from Grand Haven; being stuffed into a suitcase with a week's worth of sandy clothes and underutilized bathing suits caused some wire to come lose somewhere, and now he only barks. All of the fear has gone out of Elena and his relationship, and she now barks back "brp brp brrrp!" whenever she sees him, or remembers that he is up on that shelf.
The only thing that is a source of more endless wonder is our little Elena, currently crawling all over the case of her daddy's dead-mint condition FGB Ibanez Prestige guitar. She wants desperately for me to pick her up so that she can see the shelf where her favorite toy, a Made in China remote controlled dog, resides. He lives on that high shelf because he's dangerous! A super mega strangulation hazard, with his garrote-like, 18-something inch cord connecting pup with his yellow, bone-shaped plastic remote control. Eighteen inches is not terribly remote, but it was enough to absolutely MYSTIFY Elena the first time she and that pup met. At first, she would hold the dog lovingly... snuggle him enthusiastically while saying (I assume) "dog" over and over - something like "dugk dugk dugk!" But when you pressed the buttons that made the dog walk or bark, she would be shocked and suddenly push it straight out of her hands - pow! - and then stand over it, watching it writhe on the floor. It was like the scene in Dances with Wolves where the Indians taste sugar for the first time, or use Lt. Dunbar's telescope. No fear, necessarily - just the sudden abrupt "WTF" sort of response to something you'd never expect.
Luckily (or unfortunately?) poor Dog was rendered a quadriplegic during the journey back from Grand Haven; being stuffed into a suitcase with a week's worth of sandy clothes and underutilized bathing suits caused some wire to come lose somewhere, and now he only barks. All of the fear has gone out of Elena and his relationship, and she now barks back "brp brp brrrp!" whenever she sees him, or remembers that he is up on that shelf.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
What on EARTH am I doing?!?
Alright, I've figured out how to write my titles in English again, so that's a start.
But WHAT ON EARTH AM I DOING?!? Seriously? I bathed the baby, put her to sleep, chatted with our dearly departed-to-New-Jersey Jen, and have realized that for almost 13 months now I've been pissing away my time on Facebook and CafeMom rather than recording memories, accomplishments, and irregularities in what could and SHOULD be a fabulous, popular mommy blog.
I haven't even written down the unsolicited advice that runs through my head all day like the Fox News below-screen ticker. Ridiculous.
It must change... tomorrow, let's try a new leaf. And let's turn it!
But WHAT ON EARTH AM I DOING?!? Seriously? I bathed the baby, put her to sleep, chatted with our dearly departed-to-New-Jersey Jen, and have realized that for almost 13 months now I've been pissing away my time on Facebook and CafeMom rather than recording memories, accomplishments, and irregularities in what could and SHOULD be a fabulous, popular mommy blog.
I haven't even written down the unsolicited advice that runs through my head all day like the Fox News below-screen ticker. Ridiculous.
It must change... tomorrow, let's try a new leaf. And let's turn it!
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