Genius Alert, Part 2

Kid might be a genius, but I'm an negligent asshole.

Guess who probably has a 2nd degree burn on her palm and 4 fingertips? Here's a clue: her hand is really little.

Kid: Genius. Mom: Dipshit.

***********UPDATE****************

12 noon
While making breakfast (yes at noon... there are multiple examples of my negligence) child burns hand on glass radiant range top while my back is turned. Assumption is that she flat-handed it, but exact cause forever unknown due to turned back and CSI Dayton not returning my calls.

12:15pm
Child takes Tylenol after sitting with hand under cold running water for 14 minutes (this timeline allows 1 minute for frantic panic of mother)

12:30pm
Pediatric staff is on lunch break from noon to one, crap.

1:02pm
I call Pediatrician's other number and am tersely told that it is not an emergency. I didn't think so either, but jeeze... when do your coworkers get back from lunch?

1:08pm
Debbie the nurse instantly answers and suggests the tiny crispy hand come in to be seen by a doctor, due to her age and my apparent inability to describe the injury. Probably also to have me evaluated for child abuse.

1:20pm
I realize, despite the drama du jour, that I must must MUST get finished with the day's necessary task, which is organizing and pricing items I'm contributing to a huge mom's sale on Saturday. The seller requirements are strict and the waiting list long, and I don't want to lose my chance at an 80/20 cut on getting rid of some unnecessary E-unit accessories! Safety pins. MUST HAVE SAFETY PINS. Rather than make Daddy come home from work...

1:25pm
Call Darion, babysitter extraordinaire. Who is also now Dental Office administrative assistant extraordinaire and has a mere 30 minutes worth of lunch break left... she generously and sweetly donates those 30 minutes to me as I run to Meijer for gauze, burn spray, and SAFETY PINS.

1:55pm
Return. Darion runs back to her real job. Elena cries for Muppets.

2:30pm
Halfway into The Great Muppet Caper, the burn victim falls asleep. I frantically tag items, get dressing down from Dada via chat, and drink coffee.

4:00pm
Intend to leave for doctor at 4:15, but find more things to sell and leave at 4:28 instead. Have to wake Lil' Well Done up and she appears to be feeling remarkably spiffy.

4:40pm
Arrive for 4:30 appointment, much to the chagrin of pediatrician office lady. While we wait, E runs in circles barefoot (negligence!!) yelling the lyrics to Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star in a way that seems entirely uncharacteristic of someone who doesn't feel well. Optimism all around.

4:55pm Doc comes in wearing a U of M sweater vest. Instead of reminding him it was August and 89 degrees outside, I compliment him and mentioned our Michigan roots. We discuss the University of Michigan versus Eastern Michigan University, then both if those versus "THE" Ohio State University. He checks E's hand, and says "Good! Uh... not that she burned her hand. That's not good. But it's better than it could be!"

So what I just spent 20 minutes typing could really be described as such: the burn was a bad first degree, with only one spot - fingertip of pinky - that is going to blister and be at risk for infection. It hasn't bothered her all day today, and we all learned a good lesson: keep the two-year old away from the stove!

p.s. And I then drove to Fairborn and turned in 65 items to the TCMC Sale for Saturday, not only on time, but EARLY. And then made what my husband described as the best egg curry he's ever had. All in all, not a terrible day.

** UPDATE!! **

I guess you could say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.  And also teaches your child how to "milk it."

Guess who's added something new to her conversation repertoire?  In addition to her friendly hellos, handshakes and "howa-you?", Elena now will show off her burn and revel in the pity.

Haaaaand?  Owwie?  Hot!  Pssss!  [her own special "sizzle" sound effect]  Hand.  [somber pause for effect.  Knowing nod.]  OWWIE.